We have a cat now. He's all white and his name is Moogle. He used to be the neighbors' cat, but they got evicted and abandoned him. He started hanging out on our porch and so Juli let him in and he turned out to be a total sweetheart. Loves to sit on your lap and be petted. He also likes to get in the sink and I have to yell at him. I say "Get down ( Read more... )

In response to Adrienne's feminism rant...The best way to fight the patriarchy is to come over here and do my laundry. Then you'll hafta make out with me because the laundry gets me hot. You might think that motherhood is difficult, and I'll agree, but I have done you and your vagina-having cohorts one better: I rescued the President from ninjas in ( Read more... )

I'm going to invent a new kind of neck tie ( Read more... )

Here is a poem ( Read more... )

I'm going to dye my hair pink and start wearing glitter and tons of unicorn stickers. I'll always have a cherry Ring-Pop on my finger and I'll make everyone call me Bambi. And in the middle of the night, I'll stand out on the balcony and sing old Beach Boys songs at the top of my lungs until someone complains ( Read more... )

I think I have an infection and I don't mean an STD or a tiny space alien growing inside my belly. I'm talkin' bout some weird shit on my gums. It bulges out and when I pop it, I get a mouth full of blood and puss. It does not taste very good so I try not to pop it too much. I'm gonna hafta go visit a dentist and get me some antibiotics ( Read more... )

Here is a brief list of what I did today ( Read more... )

Who wants to go out for hamburgers with me sometime? I sure would love to bite into some juicy fried cow flesh flanked with two pieces of bread and dripping with ketchup. Mmm...I love hamburgers more than President Bush loves killing impoverished muslim children. I am like President Bush in that I too enjoy feasting upon the burnt flesh of the ( Read more... )

Top Ten Favorite Albums of 2003

10. The Rapture - Echoes
09. Zwan - Mary Star of the Sea
08. Non-Prophets - Hope
07. Radiohead - Hail To The Thief
06. The Angels of Light - Everything Is Good Here/Please Come Home
05. Explosions In The Sky - The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place
04. Prefuse 73 - One Word Extinguisher
03. The Blood Brothers - Burn, ( Read more... )

Last night was really cool. I told Tim that he looked like my mom in the early 80s. He didn't get mad because he knew that I meant it as a compliment. Tim is an American Classic ( Read more... )