Repeat after me. Squirrels are nasty.
Well, they are. They're cute rats, that's all. Vermin with good PR. I had to murder a squirrel once (imagine the scene with the mad dog in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD, except the dog is a squirrel and Gregory Peck is me and instead of a gun I have a stick) and the harrowing experience may have scarred me--I freely
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