I am so fuckin tired. In math class waiting for my teacher to start the lecture. SO far today i had a cinnamon bagel, nothing on it and im drinking water. I hope i do well today. I didnt get to finish typing about yesterday how my night went. My father insist to comment on everything i eat. "randee your gunna gain weight again if u eat that". GOddd ( Read more... )

ugh i feel like shit.I got a killer migraine from attempting not to eat anything but breakfast today and that didnt work. I had egg whites on toast around 8am. Then around 1 i felt myself gettin really hungry so i got chili . Then apple juice. My nurtrition teacher said to get ur metabolism workin again u jus gotta eat. Like alot a times a day.. ( Read more... )

Since winter has gracied us with its presents(sarcasam) i have to start restricting. Last night i worked out and barley fuckin sweat. I had this weather, makes the urges of binging and purging . Well today i had a bagel and eggwhites. Took a laxative after, still nothing. Then i had a 3 point weight watchers muffin, so gross i hate them. Its 5 pm. ( Read more... )

In the shower i looked down at my wrist and i was like god, shut up randee..Its so easy to kill yourself, one cut from a razor wud take u out. But, i wudnt do it, but i could do it so simply ,its just so fuckin easy man.hhaha yah

Where should i start..Welll..Yesterday i kept flossing my back gums,,hahhatil they were really tingly and i dunoo,, i started gettin a headache, i went out jogging and had to stop on my 9th lap cus i got really dizzy. So i went home and planned to go back, took a nap and when i woke up, my gums were sore as fuck. My head was hurting. I tooka ( Read more... )

Work went well today. I just filed while i was there, time went real fast. Im flossing as we speak, feels so fuckin good. Its like this rush i get from doing it. i get all numb..God i must sound crazy. Me and kristien r making plans to go to the city. I was so happy when i bumped into her in school again, i hadnt seen her since i left school last ( Read more... )

i did not throw up. ALl that food stayed in me. uck. I did take a fibercon though,hopefully ill make a great big shit tonight of what i ate today. I mean a fibercon wouldnt do shit for me, but im also on perscribtion on laxatives so i cud actually pass my bowels, cus if i dont take it i only go once a week..and that shit can really fuckin hurt.. ( Read more... )

Another uneventful day. I started my job at the law firm yeseterday, ehh its confusing..i dunoo..damnit, im trying to keep a job, i just cant. Its just like my eating disorder. I binge on the jobs and then get rid of it. I remember in treatment kristin said bulimics dont just binge on food, we binge on everything. Sex, jobs, friends,everything. Im ( Read more... )

Wow i havent posted in quite a while ( Read more... )

Yesterday was awful..JUST AWFUL..No more binging..and purging..ever,. Well i went jogging a few hours later about 15 laps.about 3.5 miles..damn when i got home i dunoo, i thought i was gunna pass out itwas really fuckin scarey, i put to much pressure on my body, i hadto go to therpy and told her whati did, my fuckin therpist is so dumb she didnt ( Read more... )