Here's a poem for your pussy
I hope it makes you hard
I hope it makes you chase your cocky
all around the yard:

Buttfuck Bill with Style & Grace
put his dick right in my face.

lets see if you get them:

1. Q: How do you tell a rapper to put some more butter into his pancake batter?
A: Putta bitta butta in tha batta.

2. Q: How do you tell a rapper to put some more butter into his wack fly ho's ass?
A: Putta bitta butta in tha booty.

OH SHIZNIT.... i should do standup

CURRENT MUSIC is that song "ellen oh gee I think youre swell." You know the one? I have written new lyrics for part of it:

I think I might be nuts. I looked at my old posts and I am either a)fucking retarded or B)fucking insane. BUT HERE'S THE THING: I am a virgin. WHAT THE FUCK?????? I should probably be shipped to Mendota but I don't want to go. I need help but be forewarned: I will probably not accept it if you try to give it to me. At least I am not the kind of ( Read more... )

Who will be my peanutty buddy?

WHO WILL BE MY PEANUTTY BUDDY?

My ladyfriend just sang me a song last night. She says all women know this song:

I have a magic butt-hole.
I keep it on my clit.
It's allways there to rescue me
when my life turns to shit.Is it true that all woem know this? that sounds like a crock to me, but she knew it and when I called my mom today she says she knew it too ( Read more... )

I have been sleeping with my neighbor. Today she told me a joke.

Q: What do perverts eat on their birthday?

A: Chocolate cock!

I don't know if I get it but its funny b/c of the C word.

WHY do people keep saying the F word when they could say heck instead?

"Heck you motherhecker."

It sounds fresh and refreshing!

Exercise your right to choice!

ITS A FUCKING RECORD. I FINISHED IN RECORD TIME 29 HRS AND 41 MINUTES. BEAT THAT FUCKER DUCKS! I AM THE KING OF HARRY POTTER AND YOUR JUST A SHIT LOAD OF SHITTY MUGGLES WHO READ SLOW. I SHOULD GET A FUCKING MEDAL. HARRY DOESN'T DIE, BTW, TO SPOIL YOUR BUTTFUCKING HOPES AND DREAMS.

I have an idea for a cnandy bar: the mashed potato candy bar.

It will be like a brick of potatoy goodness like a McDonalds Hash Brown. But it will require no cooking or refrigeration.

I am putting the idea here to set it in stone. NOBODY STEAL THIS FROM ME FOR IT IS BRILLIANT. THIS IS MY RIGHT TO MY INTELLECTIONAL PROPERTY.