And it was during the second quarter of my Carolina Panthers getting trounced - yes, I am this football loving gay guy, which, even with all of the tackling and contact and such, is still somewhat surprising to others - that I realized I was a bit jealous. Well, not jealous per say, but, well… there was some feeling there, and I rarely feel ( Read more... )

Absinthe and rummy, the perfect mix of liquor and cards ( Read more... )

I mentioned my state of hibernation here, outside of Chicago at my friend Adam’s place. It’s a comfortable, low key quasi-lifestyle that has me leaving the house twice a week at most. He’s away all day at work, allotting me the hours of solitude that I require, and when he gets back in the evening, we eat dinner, play cards, and have a few drinks. ( Read more... )

Thirty-two is the new number ( Read more... )

I’ll probably never tell you what worries me the second most about you, but I’m confident that you’re intelligent enough for it to have crossed your mind a time or two. A chance encounter over a drink in the back bar of Scandals, and it was what, nearly two years ago now? We both looked so… fatigued, with… I don’t know - the bar, the crowd, the one ( Read more... )

I await his ascent to his bedroom with an eagerness similar to that of a child on the night before Christmas. That silence that follows, the end of an evening, and I am free to smoke my joint, to play soft music, where mundane tasks are instead cathartic, I enjoy putting the dishes away, clearing the night away, readying it all for the next one but ( Read more... )

One of my favorite song lyrics is from Dar Williams, when she says that "it's better to have fallen in love, then never to have fallen at all". And why I am keen on this, I do not know, for I am unsure if I believe it. It is interesting to ponder things such as this - travel, for instance. Is it better to have traveled portions of the country, of ( Read more... )

We walked up to the third story of that building, New Years Eve and a thousand memories ago, I remember ten, nine, eight... and then, my own cautious, but not incredibly cautious instinct. Our lips clamped, clamped together for... well, I wasn't counting then, but it didn't seem to end. And that was, what, the first time in five or six years. And ( Read more... )

I found his glow-necklace from the night before as I was cleaning up. I slid down by the door, guided by the wall, and I had to take a few minutes to… to just breathe. I put our alcohol stained cups from the night before into the sink, and stared into the wall, gripping their handles tight to keep from crying. And when I saw his towel that he’d ( Read more... )

Wrapped in my arms, 600am & sleepy, guard let down, the very attractive bartender from the town that I could not immediately recall asked what he has never had to ask.

"This is amazing, but... why didn't you try to fuck me?"

"Because you need this one night."