Oh jesusfuckingchrist ( Read more... )

Paul Maurice is going down, and we don't even need the Laser-eyed robots to do it. Actually, I almost feel for the poor bastard. But then... I don't.

It sort of hard not to look past this game, what with my golf trip... er, road trip coming up. Four games hockey, six games golf, if I plan it just right. Screw travelling with the team. I have to ( Read more... )

( Player evaluation time! )

I don't like to promote team gayness, but everyone on our team owes Ty Conklin whatever favors he requests. We sent him out to get slaughtered, hung him out to dry, watched them harvest his organs. In the third, he just looked at me as if to say "Why me?" and I had to pull him. Let Steve "The Hair" Valiquette take some of the raping ( Read more... )

Is a snowsuit going to ruin my image?

What would be the best way to not freeze my nuts off?

Comrie, you're left out in the cold. What do you recommend?

But seriously, I'd like some input.

Not that it matters much, what with me being all manly and the like, but I always thought I was K-Lowe's favorite old man center. Oates. Bah. He'll probably try to get our guys playing the Anaheim trap! Well think twice, Oatesy, it ain't gunna work here - we don't have flukey goaltending. We don't even have over-stuffed goaltending... although ( Read more... )

Craig Simpson is a big pansy-assed whiner ( Read more... )

Sometimes I forget just how fucking old I am. Then Mess gets his milestone, Furhsy goes to the rafters, K-Lowe loses more hair and it hits me. I'm around these kids, my players, all the time. It kind of makes me feel young. And then there's Simmer, who seems younger than the entire players roster, but has the same gig as me. But holy fucking hell, ( Read more... )

We won. It was the bag skate. I told you I was awesome.

This is really just a warning to the guys on the team who planned to TP my house tonight. What are you, six years old? So lame. Think of something better and I won't hand down another bag skate. And like no one would notice all that TP missing at the arena. Amatuers.

I should be down, what with the shitty weather in this godforsaken hick town, but yesterday was bag skate day! Which means... I almost killed several of my whiniest players! Two guys went down, out cold only half way through. And three of them puked! Ah yes, causing human suffering, no better way to spend a Monday. Then it fucking snowed, and the ( Read more... )