OK. Pretty fucking drunk but it's time to go public with this... I've gone from a living in an awesome house, 3 cats and a many year relationship to a woman who needed me, to living on my neighbors sofa waiting for my fucking house to either get rented or for her to finally agree to call the landlord and get my name off the lease ( Read more... )

I'm a normal guy. About 6 foot 2, 175 pounds, Scots-Irish-German-Huguenot-Greek Caucasoid from America. Basically as normal as they come. But I do have a secret, an abnormality that sets me apart. Some might consider it a superpower. I consider it a curse. I am Too Much Man for Toilets ( Read more... )

I brought my car in for routine repairs this past week. Something about the engine or transmission or something. Whatever it was, while the car was being worked on, I decided to head over to that hallowed place, the sum total of human evolution, the reason why we're here in the first place---Taco Bell ( Read more... )

And makes for some pretty interesting moments the next morning, that's for damn sure ( Read more... )

Dear Lisa ( Read more... )

Must.................. control....................... utter......................... boredom....................... light.................. fading......................... brain...................... melting............................ porn..................... no longer interesting................. SOMEONE FUCKING UPDATE SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO

I just moved to a shitty, semi-quaint little town. Damn near everyone in this town drives slower than I would like them to. It's the kind of town where when Eula Mae turns 100 she gets a two page write up in the local paper. The truth is though, I love it. I love it because my yard is huge, because it's full of flowers, because I am going to put a ( Read more... )

OK so it has been a long fucking time since I updated this journal and since I have nothing better to do today but sit around the house and make stuffed animals out of the belly button lint I keep finding tucked into my crevices (still don't know how it all got there) I figured I would let everyone who cares know how life is going for me here in ( Read more... )

I know it's been forever and a day since I have updated. But since it seems like none of my real friends seem that interested in my daily happenings since I talk to them on the phone about it, I am posting this for those lovely ladies Jenny Gill and Linda ( Read more... )

This Saturday your's truly will be sitting in a plane leaving JFK at 4:15 on it's way to Nebraska.

Let's hear it for corn!