so as everyone knows i do not want to be here. like luara came up to me and said 'i heard you were bummed about being here this year'. it's just...camp makes me feel like crap. whenever i'm here i feel like i'm being judged and looked down upon. like i'm psyched for the summer to start because i can't wait to see my girls and my brockton kids again ( Read more... )

so once again i got screwed over. i was willing to try and make it work over the summer because he kept telling me 'i'm not going anywhere'...when i would tell him why i have such a strong barrier up he would say, 'i'm not like that...i'm here for you' clinton acted that way kinda...he said that he wanted to continue what we had after summer and ( Read more... )

haven't written in here in a while, as lee pointed out :P ( Read more... )

all i have to say is wow. so within the past two weeks a lot has changed. so there's Lee. and i have never felt so comfortable with any guy. by the end of the first night i met him i knew he was different than any other guy i have fallen for. then he came up here to Fitchburg and i was really worried about it because we had only hung out once and i ( Read more... )

so it's one of those nights again ( Read more... )

take time to appreciate the little things ( Read more... )

so ever since i was little i always seemed to get along better with guys than i do girls mainly because girls are just too girly for my liking. i've always enjoyed hanging out with my guy friends more than my girl friends because i guess my personality fits better with them. it's not a bad things but every now and again i realize that there are ( Read more... )

words left unspoken
unsure of feelings
broken dreams
lived reality

as you sing to me and play your guitar
i look into your eyes and

i want to be
but you're my friend
and i'm pretty sure a friend is all you'll ever see me as
so i'll stay for now a good friend
perhapes a suitemate
but it'll be in my mind
because you're in my mind

so alot has been going on lately. mostly thinking about how i'm like 90% sure i'm making the right decision for this summer. just talking to chasse today made me realize that i love calumet more than calumet loves me. like i absolutly love camp people and i feel very blessed to have known them but the truth is me leaving camp won't be a big deal ( Read more... )

so tonight was a huge eye opener for me...for those of you who i talked to you know why. i'm not going to go over it again because i really don't feel like making this headache worse because i've pretty much been crying on and off all night. but wow.

it's really scary to think about...