is there something wrong with me? why is it my best friends dont want to live with me? they found this huge great beautiful amazing house in queen creek and theyre moving in. its 4 bedroom. and theres 3 of them. when i was looking at houses, before i found this one, i wanted to look in queen creek, when dan was considering living with me. and when ( Read more... )

i am never drinking again. im throwing up more now sober than i was last night when i was drunk. misery.

I have every inclination to believe that Jess, maybe Austins family, maybe even Austin himself reads my journal now. As well as Kelby, who, despite saying he doesnt want to be with me anymore, cant actually go a day without wanting to know what Im doing. (you cant let go of me any more than I can let go of you!) and the thought has entered my mind ( Read more... )

i hate that i only post when im so unbelievably fed up with something. i never post because.. i dont know, i had a good day? but then again, recently, those good days have been few and far between. yesterday was a shitty day. it started being a shitty day before i even woke up! i had this dream that me and kelby finally got married, and i had a ( Read more... )

i am so never drinking again.

Fuckit allll. Just when I think I have things STARTING to get figured out, I dont. I have said too many times that me and him are over for good, then 12 hours or 12 days later, we arent. and just when i think when we are back together that things are starting to turn around, they all come crashing down again. he left. he packed his shit and left. ( Read more... )

Its been too long since Ive updated this thing. Again. At least 6 months, I think. I dont think Ive updated since right after the accident. As far as that goes.. most days, i just try to forget. I know, i feel like a horrible person for saying that. But I dont know what else to do, really. Austins mom has somehow gotten it into her head that Im to ( Read more... )

im not writing this for anyone. expect for me. i just dont know what to do with it all or where to put it. i feel so completely lost and alone and nothing about my life is right. and i cant deal. austin. oh god austin. i dont know what im going to do without you here. i cant function. im gonna get fired from my job. i feel so sick and ill and i ( Read more... )

6 days til moveing day.

i forgot to request off work. oops.

i guess that means ill live on crack and caffeine for a while.

So, college isnt so bad.. of course Im totally letting myself slide by in my classes... english 101, psych and intermediate algebra.. (which- i found out, is equivalent to freshman math... ouch. i dont know if im gonna make it.. LoL ( Read more... )