Hurdling it's mammoth weight at a colossal .5mph, the Roomba stalks me about the chamber.

Oh, woe is me.

I'm drunk.
I'm tired, I'm phased, I'm worn.
It's not the wine or rum.
I'm drunk,
I'm drunk again.
It's not the dust, it's not the rain.
It's too much air, it's too much sun.
It's all the fog, the light's too bright.
My eyes are worn, my heart is tight.
My limbs feel slow, I've lost my step.
I'm drunk, I'm done,
So let me be.
I cannot think, I want to leave,
I ( Read more... )

New development in the immigration saga:

I sent away my citizenship certificate to get my American passport.
My Russian passport has expired.
My birth certificate is in Russian. And we don't have a notarized translation.

Conclusion: I don't have proof of my date of birth.

Thus, I can't get a new driver's license.

Coming up next: good times at

One of my oldest and dearest friends is getting married next winter, which in itself is an exciting, exciting thing, especially if you know my friend. Which I do. Hence... she is my friend. Anyway. As part of her I-am-still-single-lets-go-and-partake-in-debauchery routine (otherwise known as a bachelorette party, but come on, how fun were all those ( Read more... )

Today was just so anti-climactic. My naturalization process timeline:

T-minus two weeks of my 18th birthday: my father gets his citizenship. I'm automatically eligible.

Early 2005: I apply for my own citizenship.

Summer 2005: interview! They tell me to bring a photo ID. I arrive at INS and they demand my green card and my parents marriage ( Read more... )

Let's not be friends ( Read more... )

I wonder why they make toothbrushes that don't fit standard toothbrush-holders.

These are the pressing questions that fill my time these days.

I'm sick, but I'm being subtle about it. No coughing or sneezing, no runny nose, sore throat or fever. That would just be obvious and silly. Instead, I'm just exhausted, nauseous and achy. To top it off, I've ( Read more... )

I have a new outlook on people:

All of humanity falls into two groups: comedians and motivational speakers. There might be another group or two, but who cares.

Comedians are funny. They tells jokes. Good comedians tell funny jokes. Everyone like jokes. Motivational speakers have inspiration spewing from their pores. Ok, that's cool. The main ( Read more... )

Craving: naan with vegetable spread butter stuff. Beef.

I've spent most of the day either sleeping, falling asleep, or feeling groggy and lethargic from just having been asleep. In about an hour, I'm going to bed.

Hopefully, I'll be a little more awake tomorrow. Wow... that's really unrealistic. I'll probably be dead tired, but I'll be out and ( Read more... )

I'm doing alright. Well, I'm really cold and my stomach feels a little empty, but I'm still kickin', so it's all good. The only foods I'm craving are ice cream with cocoa powder and bread. I made rice without whatever spice crap my parents decided to fill it with yesterday and you know what? I like rice. So I'm doing okay.

Question: why is it that ( Read more... )