Hello everyone in Livejournal Land, you should all listen to Joel's internet radio show 'The Breakdown', which is this afternoon from 4 - 6 at www.sheffieldlive.org, as I will be on it a bit too, and anyone who listened in a fortnight ago to my debut performance will know that it's likely to be a treat for the ears. Quite like having your ear ( Read more... )

Hello, people of the world ( Read more... )

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I climbed up the ladder to the attic with a fag behind my ear and a cup of tea in my hand.  This task was completed successfully, but when I lent forward to put the tea down on the table the fag fell from behind my ear and landed in the tea, which made me laugh which made me spill the tea all over the place.
I am a chump.

I have a little problem. No, not that ( Read more... )

I thought my Gran had given me a double dildo for Christmas, but it turned out to be a 'banana guard', enabling me to transport bananas when out and about without fear of them becoming bruised and mushy. I think I hid my disappointment admirably.
Happy December 25th all you people out there! 

I am confused and annoyed ( Read more... )

Yesterday, I went to work in the morning, saw
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Can I have a hug please?

I fell down a manhole last night. 
If one has to break both one's legs, would it not be better to find a less hackneyed form of slapstick to accomplish the task? What, short of slipping on a banana skin, could have displayed less imagination? I am sickened, even my clumsiness is uninspired.