so i guess things have to change bc he tired to stop talking to me last night i wish i would have been able to see him he was crazy idk why and i want to. i wish he got how i feel for him i love him more then life i have to see himb tonight it has to happen i will see him and kiss him and hug him and love him. i willl see him!

so its nothing it means nothing it was what it was. so why did he say that he was so fucking happy kissd him back? idk whatever i just miss duke i want to see him and kiss him and hug him and do things with him and smell like him i love him with everythig i am. please let hm call me tonight make my life please! I love D

he wont tell me but ik its not like howb i could think it is so thats good thatsb why i didnt think like that... butb i still have to kno!!

well josh is going to ny fuck my life bc now i have NO LIFE fucking awsome hes a big part of my life and hes leaving. now i really will have no one to talk to. if he stops talking to me so help me god i cant do it i cant lose my bestfriend again. im hollow.

watching spongebob and i miss D so much hes so cute oh man i miss his everything and hope i see him soon... im goin to pray josh doesnt go to ny.

so im pretty sure josh was here this morning but then again i might just be crazy and thinking its josh when it wasnt. but it look like him idk where is he is he ok? so many questions so little time if hes leaving in less then two week i dont have time for all this trying to find him and chill with him shit. please dont let him go to ny please ( Read more... )

but josh never came here which is open for him if he needs it hahaha. which is totally ok i just need to kno hes ok allive and well. D didnt call last night he did good for 5straight nights so its a bit upsetting really hoping to hear from him and dont. i miss him terriably!

i knew i couldnt trust her i knew there was a reason and now ik. she fucking went to his house and broke his fucking window in. and now hes fucking going to new york on the 29th till march are u kiddin me fuck im so heartbroken it hasnt sunk in yet that my best fucking friend is leavving i think i dont have time to be in denyile fuck fuck fuck

while cuttin out letters paige calld i was shockd didnt kno if i should answer or not but i did. she was crying and didnt kno where josh was but idk so i couldnt tell her. we were on the phone 5 to 10 min and i wanted to start repairing shit but it didnt feel like the right time. i wrote a text that i didnt send like what always happens. should i ( Read more... )

so did 50 crunches and stretchd for a few min. ill do weights after i eat something. i wish i could tell if all this is payin off i have a goal and i will meet it. i have untill feb or tax time to look at least somewhat like i want to. i cant not get my tat if i look like i do now i have to keep going strong. ive been slackin since i moved here and ( Read more... )