Folks are telling me to go date other people. People that I don't know. Including the guy that I'm going on a date with on Saturday.

I always figured that I had it right by dating people that I know and hang out with on a regular basis. My way hasn't really worked out so well. From my disasters with Jeff and Cliff, now possibly to Wes...

Blah. I want ( Read more... )

When I was 9, my friend Siobhan wanted to ride The Squirrel Cage ride at Portland's amusement park, Oaks Park. Essentially, there were several cages on a track and as the cages rotated around this track, the two riders within each cage could choose to flip the cage over and over again.

I decided that I could at least get on the ride with Siobhan ( Read more... )

Either thinking 10 steps ahead, or looking at how far I've climbed. Thinking about what I've left behind, and what lies before me. I can't stand still, I must always push forward and only turnback to remember pitfalls I should avoid.

Sit the fuck down. Don't move. Don't look up. Don't look down. Stop tearing up old wounds, stop digging new graves. ( Read more... )

It's gorgeous out here tonight. I'm ignoring the training run that I should actually be doing and taking a night to enjoy being by myself. Several nights with Cliff, and I start feeling just a little anxious solo.

Thinking about it, it doesn't make much sense. I'm happy just seeing him. I haven't figured out how we would work if we dated again. I ( Read more... )

I'm not sure that I even want to be your priority. It might mean that I'm in some form of self-created drama that you have to rescue me from.

I don't need you. I wanted you, but that's not what you need. Crave. Desire. You say you don't want clingy, and that's mildly true. You want to chase down your catch, but you want her to be limping.

I'm healing ( Read more... )

I remember the last time that I sat on this bench. Hashing out the night that Sara and Jeff. Now I'm sitting here because a couple of halfway dates made me feel uninteresting, like I had nothing to say or offer. I felt like a single mom - busy with my siblings, running, work, and watching sitcoms. The last time that I made it through a book was ( Read more... )

A mutual friend wanted to get together with me for a drink last week. He seemed pretty cool, at least in a group, so I wanted to see if we could be friends on our own...

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been reflecting on the past year. What has changed, what has changed in me. Of course, each year's experiences will reveal more about yourself, but 25 was powerful.

I've come to terms that I have a chronic condition and that I will likely be on medication for the rest of my life. I've been honest with Jeff and ( Read more... )

Where are you? How long should I search for you? How many thems do I have to go through to find you? Where should I look for you? How many bars, chat rooms, classes will I attend until we are? How many beds will my purse lay beside?

Will you fit my list? Or, should I broaden my scope? Should I even have a scope or a list? Do I leave this up to fate ( Read more... )

Erica's graduation from PCC was last night. I had two other conflicts, both parties, but I let them both pass at the chance to be there for her. It was amazing - almost as exciting as when Jonathan graduated from high school. Erica was the only graduate I knew, yet I felt myself swept up in these families' proud moment; for they were celebrating ( Read more... )