Hey, it's...been awhile-ish. Sorry to leave things on such a down note. I'm doing....better-ish. I'm still super-anxious but I thinking that's more because I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that I actually watched another living creature die in my arms. (Painful, yes, but the alternative would just be heartless - she needed someone there ( Read more... )

It's weird how things can change so quickly. A few weeks ago I was finally actively looking forward to the move. Now I'm back to dreading it. I've been thinking about it all night and....I kinda feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. And I'm bleeding out my ears. Just a little bit, but still.

I disgust myself.

Ugh. I had to get obnoxiously early again today. It's my mom's birthday, so of course there had to be family gatherance for that. At least the food was good. Smoked cheddar and summer sausage for appetizers, homemade stuffed crust pizza for the main course, and pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. Not a damn thing there that's even remotely healthy, but ( Read more... )

Good morning, one and all! Jesse's up early for a trip to Billings to get cheap groceries and force Ryan to buy me lunch while he's in town for the holidays. Christmas through New Years. Hard to believe it'll be 2010 in less than a week. That decade went FAST. I can still remember the turn of the millennium, spending the night at school for what ( Read more... )

Jesse's finally done with this Christmas nonsense for the year, as today was the obligatory family holiday gathering. As usual, I overate, gorging myself on ham, sweet potatoes, corn, stuffing (I FUCKING LOVE STUFFING), macaroni and shrimp salad, garlic bread, and pumpkin and apple pies. Even if family holiday conversation is usually awkward and ( Read more... )

Somehow I managed to sleep till 4:30 in the afternoon today. That was weirdly enjoyable. Still a relatively productive day, though. Got a couple applications for feasible Columbus jobs picked up - I could wind up either making deliveries (for a hardware store, so it's nothing I'd be tempted to steal like pizzas or something) or sorting packages. I' ( Read more... )

Looks like I'm able to work for Grandma again for a little while, anyway. The roads are drivable again. I got work up by a phone call at 7 Saturday morning informing me of this, and telling me that I was expected up there within an hour. That really, really sucked. But at least I got a good-sized day in and now have grocery money. I got myself some ( Read more... )

It's snowing. I hate the snow. Snow means icy roads, and icy roads mean my grandma just flat-out won't let me come up to work. My grandma just flat-out not letting me come up to work means no money for Jesse, and no money for Jesse means it's incredibly hard to do things that involve money. Like saving up money to move. Or eating ( Read more... )

Ugh. What a horrible day tomorrow will be. Er....today. Jesse's sick. And, for whatever reason, unable to sleep and get the rest I truly need right now ( Read more... )

The weird health problems just keep stacking up for me! I didn't get any sleep last night because I kept suffering from repeated blood sugar crashes. I'd get all shaky and sweaty and dizzy, unbearably so, so I'd stumble my way out to the kitchen and eat a little something and wait till I felt okay. And then I'd go lay back down, only for it to ( Read more... )