I'm terribly tired. My mother woke me up at noon, despite the fact I'd stayed up well past 2 AM watching The Wedding Singer and eating rocky road ice cream, and despite the fact it's Thanksgiving and I'll never thank the dumb whore who doesn't let me sleep in. She offered to make me breakfast, but the only things breakfestesque she can cook are ( Read more... )

I got a haircut, and as per tradition, have updated my LJ icon. Let's all admire my unique ability to create exactly the same composition (except with different coiffures) with months in between.

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1. You wanted me to do this. I already wanted to, but I will use your pressure as an excuse. Your long-ago wardrobe insults bounce off me, 'cause really, you used to be punk ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in art history right now. Turns out my laptop gets wireless service in the room ( Read more... )

I have not seen the light of day and still not the light, unfortunately. I have not consumed anything but cold coffee and warm coke. I alternate caffeine with bottles of water, and I rest my laptop on the sink to edit essays with one hand while taking a piss (I am such a good copy editor). My kidneys aren't working any longer - they're too busy ( Read more... )

Every so often, our LJ friends circle unites for a single, greater cause. Last time we did so, I asked if you had to be gagged with something, with what would you be gagged? The answers varied from the ever-so popular 'COCK' to the more colourful 'rubber ducky cunt' (my own personal answer). Now, I place a new mission before you, my brethren ( Read more... )

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ESSAY ABOUT YOURSELF ( Read more... )

My sister moves back in tomorrow night. It's going to be like old times again. I'm going to flip out every night when she's in the bathroom for an hour straight and kick on the door until she opens it, the fucking cunt. And then I'll stab her, like I used to ( Read more... )