hour four of detox. so far so good. went to class, worked out, drank nothing but water with lemon ( Read more... )

I'm still really struggling, and last night was the worst, and I'm terribly embarrassed, but if I hadn't done it, it would have just kept on going and I wouldn't be able to heal.

Too bad today didn't work out. It's for the best though. I can't spend any more money for awhile. Tomorrow begins the detox. So right now begins the drinking.

dear texas ( Read more... )

i feel helpless and so alone. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't stop thinking. i'm hurting so terribly. i feel like i'll never be happy again ( Read more... )

as much as the support from friends and family helps, finding someone to commiserate with really helps the most. theres something about knowing you're not the only one feeling this way that makes it better somehow. plus now i know i have a friend that wants to go out and get her mind off of stupid boys with me ( Read more... )

i know i'm total teen angst girl right now, but there is a line from a bright eyes song thats always done the trick for me: "so close to dying that i finally can start living".

that'll do pig.

i heart my friends. without you i'd be not much to speak of.

why am i always so commited to making bad relationships work and never commited to anything else? i'm sitting here about to throw away my own life for someone who doesn't even plan on leaving kansas city. why am i so afraid of being alone? i've been alone for my entire life. i'm so much better when i'm alone. am i allowed to sleep with him ( Read more... )

i really thought i was doing better. and i am, really. but i guess i'm not well enough to handle a relationship yet. i'm not sure if i'll ever be well enough for that. i'm sick with worry and i don't even know why. is it the fact that he still has pictures of his ex girlfriend on his fucking digital camera? i'm not even worried that he'll go ( Read more... )

sometimes i wonder if my problem isn't completely my laziness, but in fact its partially due to genuine disinterest. it worries me because that would make matters much much worse.