Hello LJ! Nice to see you're still here even though I haven't checked in for over 2 and a half years. Thanks for not dumping my old entries; some of that shit's kinda funny. Sorry for joining face(ass)book, I finally caved because it seems to be the only way people communicate now. Maybe I'll pop in from time to time and pen some lines (if I should ( Read more... )

rule # 1 of greet cookin: Tend yer pot. If ye stroll awee from ye hearth wi distraction, yer repast will sit in yer gob like a lump o' shite.

Zomby phone goes brain, brain. Brain, brain.

and he only had eleven years on me. seems a bit young. bon voyage, monsieur jobs. yet, this was not why i logged in tonight. had some trouble getting on the site, so im damn well going to post my frippery even if it is completely insensitive to breaking news. i need two reasons how scott baio killed the drive-in movie industry. plausibility will ( Read more... )

...I would like to see rendered by an esteemed british actor in a well crafted feature film. "My god, you're as repulsive as an infected veruca. If you were mankind's last chance to revitalise our gene pool, I'd recommend the board of governors allow our species to gracefully die out."

Dogs don't have kneecaps. That is all. Except the side note that cats may not gloat, since they are kneecap-less as well.

Yesterday it was announced on NPR that PBS has officially declared that Bert and Ernie's 40 plus years long relationship has been and always will be pure as the driven snow. This was apparently in response to a petition from viewers that requested Bert and Ernie get married. Ernie denied allegations of homosexuality saying "It's totally not true. ( Read more... )

 Apparently, if you live in Seattle and don't feel you are having enough cloudy, rainy days per year, you would have to move to Buffalo or Rochester NY

 Here is a conundrum that has bothered me subconsciously for years, and now bothers me a bit more since it has arrived in my forebrain. How, as a Wonder Twin, do you accidentally discover that doing a fist bump and exclaiming "Wonder Twin powers activate! Form of... shape of... Will cause you to become the animal of your choice or some villain- ( Read more... )

And so is the pissing rain yet again. Somebody needs to shove a log sideways up Old Man Winter's ass. If there were a person responsible for northwest weather, I'd have removed his face with a cheese grater long ago. Sunny and nice out while my job is sucking my life away, but as soon as I have a little free time? I really do want to murder someone ( Read more... )