Well the pain is back. I've been struggling with carpal tunnel and cubital tunnel since before Xmas and today I woke up with the knee pain of doom. My skin has also been absurdly sensitive, and wearing clothes has been a challenge. This is not acceptable. I am too old for this shit. I know people say that the body gets more aches and pains with age ( Read more... )

Well I might have the whole office to myself today. I really don't like being in here alone, but I can't really complain. I just get a little paranoid about safety and being places alone ( Read more... )

Every now and then I'm reminded that I have fibromyalgia. Monday night I went to a 90 minute yoga class and over yogaed my shoulders. Totally my mistake. My body is just not used to such long yoga classes. BUT it will be soon. I hope. I've been in a miserable fibro flare since then and doing everything I can to resolve it and be normal, but I'm ( Read more... )

Days like this I really wonder where my responsibility boundary is and/or should be. For reasons I don't entirely understand people come to me with their problems and I also tend to encounter people living on the bottom with big problems of various sorts generally living outside of mainstream society and medical/psych care. I am very thankful that ( Read more... )

Well among other things I've been in a fibro flare since I got back from Seattle. Last week it was mostly just some fatigue, but at the end of the week the pain came back with a vengeance. I have not been good about keeping up with exercise beyond a little yoga here and there. My upper body is weak and my back is hurting because I need more upper ( Read more... )

There's this yoga class out in a park in Oakland in this bandstand thing every week. It's sliding scale but the first time I went I only had pocket change, so I didn't pay anywhere near the low end of the scale. I've been kinda depressed so I wanted to go again because it's cheap and convenient and outside on the lake. I had this sort of foreboding ( Read more... )

I've been with this guru and his people for a little over a year. There are several people at the temple that have been through a lot of stuff with me and have heard all my awful past and dark secrets and such. Over the weekend I volunteered to be up all night for four days to help out at this meditation program. One of the women in the program ( Read more... )

I just don't know where I am these days. I'm trying so hard to unlearn the culture of disability and fibromyalgia that I've been in since 2002. My body is different. People say that I even look like a whole different person. The way I think about and experience myself, my body and the world has changed a lot too. I find myself willing to take ( Read more... )

The thing about being introspective and doing heavy self-work is that I now have this sort of self-centered hangover that makes it difficult to interact with people. Folks that I already know that already know my stories are ok because then we have plenty to talk about. New people and people I haven't seen in a while... ugh... I just don't know how ( Read more... )

I'm really really really spending time contemplating what is normal health and wellbeing for people. I've started getting into radical disability rights, and they're into the idea that, "there's nithing wrong with it. It's the society that doesn't comprehend our inherent value as human beings that's the problem." And it's really made me start to ( Read more... )