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blah.
Its happening again. The only difference is I can feel it this time. Feel it creeping up on me like an unwanted visitor that I can't seem to keep away. Its frustrating but I don't know how else to handle it other then how I have been. Take things one day at a time. Pretend to be happy when you're not. It gets me through the day but not much ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Life seems to be getting in the way of itself lately. Sleep is hard to come by and when it does come I find myself waking up from tangled nightmares, fragments lingering long after the dream has faded away. Its confusing and it makes me not want to fall asleep for fear of what I'll see when my eyelids close. Not the nicest of feelings, to fear ( Read more... ) -
Nightmares and Dreamscapes.
Im not sure what it is or why its happening but almost every night that I haven't seen one boy or the other has resulted in a horrific nightmare that destroys any chance of sleep I might have had. They've ranged from the one I had about Tony just recently...to the horror that awoke me this morning at 8 am ( Read more... ) -
Graduation and Anniversaries (Another sleepless night)
She may not be my daughter but she's come to mean alot to me and it sounds so stupid but I'm honestly not ready for her to graduate. Its not like she was a little kid when we first met and its not like I've watched her grow up into an adult but at the same time I have watched her grow up in the time Ive known her. It saddens me to know that she's ( Read more... ) -
Will my wish come true?
My Prince Charming isn't much of a Prince I must say but he puts up with me so i've got to give him credit for that ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Hmm. So here I am again, sitting in front of my computer same as always and writing down the mundane details of my existence. Its been awhile since I've written but life goes by same as ever. Not that anything is ever calm in my life. That would be asking to much. I've had my normal ups and downs but lately it seems that its been more upbeat ( Read more... ) -
Just wow....
So, today has been an epically crazy day. What I had expected to be a nice easy day off turned into something so much more entertaining. When Tony left this morning I wasn't thinking about doing much. I was going to do some sunbathing, catch up on some reading, play a little videogames...the usual calm things I do to relax. But, was this to be ( Read more... ) -
The day after (again)
Its been less then 24 hours since we broke up and I'm still unbearably numb about the whole thing. Admittedly, I've cried. And cried and cried and cried. I cried until I couldn't anymore and still sleep eluded me tauntingly last night. Despite the alcohol, despite the vain attempts at seducing sleep into my bed, it refused to come. So, I've ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I'm not sure if he's stupid...or if I am. I think perhaps its that we're both a little dumb. But, whatever the reason him and I broke up. We're done. "Cooling things off." Whatever. It amounts to the same thing. How dare he call me cold at the end...I've done fucking everything for him and he has the audacity to call me cold? To tell me that ( Read more... )
