Well it was a long, long night..my little boy has a very bad cough and he was sick everywhere and up most of the night..poor little man..so I am a bit tired today because I was up with him, trying to sooth him and help him relax through the coughing..it finally worked and he did sleep for a few hours ( Read more... )

  so simple..yet so complicated..
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Funny how sometimes things that happen in life leave you absolutely speechless and open mouthed..I have had one of those days and I feel so isolated and paranoid that I just want to disappear..

 I feel sad, a lot of the girls I used to chat to have gone..I don't know if they are just busy, or are on other sites, but I miss them..anyway I am feeling like a bloat, and want to sort it out, so back to the gym, back to protein shakes and heavy restricting..I 'll let you all know how I get on with things over the week..I am also going to start ( Read more... )

... all I think about is food, all the time, its the only thing I can think about constantly.. that and being fat..

 It must be so boring to read my journal..always the same journey..never any progress, just words, which have meaning but fail when put into practice..its such a waste, awaste of time, of thought, of everything..unless I actually achieve something, some progress, what is the point of being here, of being on the planet? I was on the telephone ( Read more... )

 Well the last few days have been vile, all consuming eat all you see and get fat, cry, hate yourself, think everyone hates you, feel left out and isolated, hate the world and generally feel shitty..its a cycle of hate and shame..finally there is a light at the end of this fat ass tunnel..and I am squeezing my fat nasty body through it all the way ( Read more... )

 I HATE MYSELF