It's weird not to have journaled a lot recently. I was just so used to writing so much at that psychiatric hospital, and now I haven't written anything in the past couple days. I mean, I've been busy getting my journal onto the computer, but that's really no excuse to not update everyone on my status as of late ( Read more... )

I'm about to dump a bunch of text into this... I wrote alot while I was in the hospital, and I'm going to post and type all of it up. Just giving you guys a heads up. I'll be post dating it, so you might have to look starting on December, 15th... That's when I was committed, and I started writing.

Well, in retrospect, yesterday wasn't such a bad day after all ( Read more... )

Well, I'm much more stable now. It was kind of crazy earlier today. I was just so damn twitchy from the Ativan withdrawal, that I couldn't even write legibly. Right now, I'm just really tired. I think I could actually fall asleep now. But, I need to stay awake for my 9pm medications. We just had a slightly productive group wrap-up. The ( Read more... )

So today isn't going too well. I've felt spaced out and generally "not here" the whole day... I'm feeling really odd now. I went to the med nurse, and she said that I'm probably getting withdrawals from the Ativan. I went to bed early last night, so I didn't take my night time meds. So I missed all my sleeping pills and stuff ( Read more... )

So, I had that treatment meeting with my father, my case manager, my psychiatrist, and the charge nurse. The only one there that I had spent more than five minutes with was my father ( Read more... )

Well, the drugs certainly are settled in right now. All my muscles have been twitching... I was just laying down with a blanket over my head so it was covering my eyes. Then I was just... thinking. I could almost see the neuro-transmitters in my head surging with electrical energy. I don't have suicidal thoughts though. Hmm... let me think of ( Read more... )

I can feel it coming. Like a starving wolf rushing up to an oblivious sheep, I feel the thoughts starting to come. But this time I'm ready to react to them, and ready to fight them. Already I have the urge to strangle myself with my belt, but I know that it's just the meds. I'm not the one thinking that. The meds are doing that. There are ( Read more... )

So I just took my meds. I'm kind of looking forward to how my brain will react later on today ( Read more... )

Bah - Phil is back. I hope he doesn't bore me like he did the other day ( Read more... )