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GONE
My light my love is gone. I have never felt colder or more alone. I just feel utterly usless and alone. Like the sun will never come out again. -
I woke up and found I was alive.
Laying here at 3a.m. I think about my life and my family. Anyone who knows me knows how non-existant my family is. How I have never had anything really to do with anyone in my family. In this moment I am changing. I see my family every week and I spend all my free time with them. I would now like to introduce to my family ( Read more... ) -
Looking for angels.
I keep wondering where my life is going. I smiled and thought of 4 years ago. Of sam, and everyone sitting at gary's house at 3am all laughing. I realized that is what I want. I don't want to hurt people I want to be with friends. I want to work with children and have a good job. I am getting one within the next month. I want to go out with friends ( Read more... ) -
The year
I wonder what the new year will hold for me. Even on the eve of the year life is still changing. I have to leave home very soon and will not be welcomed there again for a long time. I miss friends dearly at this cold time of the year. I have gone threw alot in one year. I look back one year ago and think back to dating paul and having life be so ( Read more... ) -
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What is innocence? Is it virginity, naivety, or something else? I think what happens to you in life makes you innocent or not. I have been told a lot recently I am not innocent and I have also been told I am annoying, a bitch, and a lot of others things. So I will discus both of them tonight. Here I defend who I am ( Read more... ) -
Bye
My god protect me tonight, Life is going back to being a bit on the crazy side. I wonder why I am so scared right now, I se to be able to do this with no worries. Just strap a gun on and go. Now I am full of doubt, and fear. This worries me. *sighs* Well off to work soon. I feel like I'm going to something bad but I know I'll be okay. -
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I came to you in white ( Read more... ) -
Calm before the storm.
I have felt sooo calm all week. I have felt like everything is okay. Then tonight around 1am I snapped. I went to the park and started kickg shit. I was mad, mad at my life. Mad at people always taking about sucide. I have had 4 of my best friends die, you leave everyone with pain, guilt, and hatrid for you. They never go away it'll be 2 years this ( Read more... ) -
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Well tonight started out pretty normal. Julain, Ryan, Austin and I were gonna see a movie. Then we looked at movies, and nothing seemed all that interesting on horror fest. SO we decided to see one tomarrow. Then we went to the mall. where we ran into Miranda. That was fun and stuff. We hung out and talked for a bit. We smiled happly and chatted. ( Read more... )