Shiraz drunk off of my ass. But not before sending a parable to the woman I'm dating now, to teach her a fucking lesson she desperately needs to learn.

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She had a lollipop head; an enormous, perfectly spherical head that sat atop a limber, slim body with lanky, spindly arms and legs. But it wasn’t important, her tremendously ( Read more... )

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I’ve been told that I’d missed the entire point of the Fleshlight. While I’ve been laser-beam focused on the fact that having intercourse with rubber vaginas is too silly for my penis to comprehend, coupled with the fact that it’s still jacking off when what I wanted was a completely hands-free experience - the proprietary rationale of the ( Read more... )

Two things I learned on a recent trip to San Francisco:


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I had a gig early last year to illustrate two book covers for Harlequin. At first I asked if they were calling to have me pose on the cover -- perhaps to be photographed wielding a sword while dry-humping a buxom, enormous-breasted vixen straddling a giant serpent -- but, alas, they only wanted me and my Wacom.

I tossed two illustrations over, and ( Read more... )

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Once upon a time I dated a girl with a perfect face ( Read more... )

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