do I have to remind myself not to fall ( Read more... )

Before I even get something I want, I already feel like I am losing it. I have the tendency of making myself sick over the idea that nothing good in my life can stay. Instead of enjoying what I have at the moment, I stutter and fall back on all of my previous preemptive failures. I fail myself and people I've met that I've genuinely given a shit ( Read more... )

Three days from now will you have sex?
maybe I don't know

Are you single?
no

What are you looking forward to?
the day I figure myself out

Ever been in love?
truly? who knows.

Have you ever been awake for 48 hours?
yeah

What are you listening to?
Lydia

Do you like your first name?
it's okay

Baseball or football?
neither

Do you like the color gray?
not really

Are you ( Read more... )

"I'll weave your names into my ribcage; lock your hearts inside my chest.
Regain the passion I once carried; do away with all the rest.
I tore the sickness from your bodies; smashed it's head against the bricks.
I made a castle from it's bones that you may always dwell in it.
So sing for every buried moment that you'd thought would never end.
And ( Read more... )

allll my inspiration. I've always felt that way in the back of my head but reality is settling in and my brain is swelling and I want to fucking kill someone.

SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS

however

it is
so fucking hard to find when each part of me is a piece of so many people who have impacted me
I mean
( Read more... )

Good luck comprehending my ramble~

I've been giving myself away- to create an illusion that my body sends to my brain. I'm dead to myself but alive and well for the people who wish to do what they will with me. It's disgusting. I'm disgusting. I'm disgusted, with everything, everyone, and my disgusting self. It is so hard to find any faith in ( Read more... )

Click to view

Story of my life conveyed through clay sea creatures.

I ask myself why I even bother paving a future for myself
So then I stop

That's when I ask myself why wouldn't I? and I begin again
Till, again, I ask myself, what's the use?

I chase happiness so fucking hard.

I thought I saw it blooming four weeks ago. But I didn't let it. Because the end was just as preemptive as all my other endings. There's a sign ( Read more... )

I want. and need. something that is so stupid to want and need. Because I hardly know it. But it's all I think about ( Read more... )

Remember when I stopped doing bad things for "myself" and I thought it was so stupid and I said I would never go back to it? Well I lied. I am a con artist. The only reason it ever made me happy to stop was because to be loved felt better than any high or wired mental disposition. I'm everything I've ever hated and that is a liar a fake and a ( Read more... )