talked myself into a much need catharsis tonight ( Read more... )

i stare at myself
my pale skin that clings to my ribs
revealing the lump on the right side of my chest
the knuckles protruding from the center of my breast
am i anorexic skinny or bulemic skinnyneither of which i am. im skinny ( Read more... )

wheres salvation when you need it.
its not a question so much as a muse
i know that i should find salvation in god
or constructive activities
paint, play my guitar
but i find it in people
nix, person(s)
and that person is here
just not here so much as they are thereand i know if you read this ( Read more... )

everymorning for 5 days now ive thrown up upon waking ( Read more... )

caught up and drug down in this hole i reluctantly call home
few and far between, there are moments (people) for which i am extremely greatful

and now ive lost all inspiration to do anything aside from grunt.
so i quit

something vague
something pretty
something better

i could have told you so
but i chose not to
and with the the sweet smell of booze on your breath
i decided
that tomorrow isnt so bad afterall.

so the dogs are having a barking war
and my chest feels like a big endless shithole.
the end.

im leaving, armed with 6 resumes, newly typed updated printed completed.
do i want a job? not really.
but ive gotten really good at pretending.

mentally i seem to be in recovery ( Read more... )

im starting to have more coherent moments
little by little i think im starting to think in senseful increments
i need time to recover
and i cant seem to make any time..
what with class and work
and..people
people are my weakness.
there it is, in the open
prey on me.