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upon eyelids
i woke up just a few minutes ago....
though i haven't woken up completely....
not today or any day.
i assume one day with all the stretching, eye rubbing, and caffeine chugging
i will wake up for good
i fear, however, that when the eyes close again at night
all of my waking up will fade
and when they open again
i will have regressed back into the sleeping
( Read more... ) -
taking time for me
i kept going back to work.... telling myself i was strong. that things could have been worse. that the fingers that tried to enter me and the hands that tried to feel me up were blocked by clothes.... that though i felt everything they tried to do, it could have been worse.... it could have been worse ( Read more... ) -
it decided me
i'm going to continue w talk therapy about typical life stuff and for medication monitoring for my bipolar II/cyclothymia but i am going to do something else about my real psychopathology ( Read more... ) -
i, idiot
so i weighed myself now that i am back to my place in NY ( Read more... ) -
derailment of thought
lamictal brought my moods to pretty normal - well, normal for me... kind of like a bipolar II going into cyclothymia... shrink put me on prozac when lamictal made me flat and when dysthymia crept in a bit... kept having her up the prozac.... felt elevated (though slightly), felt more social, less hungry.... she switched my adderall to ritalin at ( Read more... ) -
need for change
for the 2 years i have worked at my current job i have been punched, smacked, pinched, bit, attacked, got a concussion, developed an ulcer, fell behind in bills, got 5 infections at once, was exposed to a few diff communicable diseases (don't have them, thank God) and most recently, sexually assaulted. i had two 17 year old emotional disturbed ( Read more... ) -
mouth & legs
just like my mood disorder - which changes my diagnosis as it does my mood - my eating disorder constantly changes ( Read more... )