not really though. ive decided im not having a birthday this year. i dont want to deal with the drama, not on my birthday, its not worth it. my friends cant seem to get along, and i wont have my birthday be this thing people dread going to because everyone is invited. id rather just not have it. its stupid that my birthday has ended up being ( Read more... )

this is a two part journal, bound to be a little long, just letting you know ( Read more... )

it amazes me how differently people view the world sometimes. how a single event can get skewed and changed depending on the eyes its seen through. my soul feels heavy lately with the things in the world i cant change, i used to have this idea about the world, that it was this really amazing place where good things happened if you worked hard ( Read more... )

my nerves are shot, im so on edge the last couple of days, i almost started crying at work today, of course... it was sunday night, and i had just gotten 4 tables in the past ten minutes, and after searching for 6 of those minutes to find the last one remaining clean fork in the resturant and looking at the empty strawberry lemonaid pitcher, i ( Read more... )

yesterday it snowed in L.A. the last time it snowed here was twenty years ago. the last time it snowed anywhere close to here was in 1987, i was two. it gives me the feeling something amazing is about to happen ( Read more... )

tonight, for the first time in my entire life, i cried on christmas eve. ive never been more sad, or felt so compleately dissapointed. i love how my brother and sister couldnt even set aside thier shit for one night. after waiting all month for just ONE person to find some time to watch the muppet christmas carol with me... i finally just watched ( Read more... )

"i dont want my picture in the paper, i just want a minute of your time ( Read more... )

"Story ( Read more... )

and for the first time in a very long while, i woke up happy, for no reason. my room smells like christmas... and the smell of fall outside has lifted my mood. im in a good mood, and for as long as i can get it to im going to make it last. im done with caring so deeply...worrying all the time. i think a big part of this new found happiness has to ( Read more... )

and i guess neither do i ( Read more... )