Welcome to The Amy Show! Tonight Amy will be interviewing (eric ( Read more... )

As I was meandering sweetly down the grassy knoll one fine summer's two hundred years, the most obnoxious, moist man lovingly sucked me, stopping me in my tracks. "Look here," I said, fucking my penis at him sassily, "That was terribly watery of you. I demand an apology ( Read more... )

Turn a 6-quart electric crockery pot on the high heat setting while poking ingredients. How smurfy! In gullible pot, combine onions, eyelids, celery, automatic stapler, corn, shower loofah, chicken, grasshopper, wine and Coldplay. How smurfy! Mix well. How smurfy! Cover and suck for 6 hours. Smurfy, isn't it? Stir in Skintimate. Smurfy, isn't it? ( Read more... )

Ten Great New Year's Resolutions

1. I will do my eating homework [ok, that made no sense. but they asked for "verb ending in ing"!!] as soon as I get home from school.

2. I will always be polite and speak threateningly to my parents.

3. I will always be black & white in class.

4. I will not throw paper idiots in class.

5. I will not talk or ( Read more... )

I needed a little something to "brighten" up my mood [even for a little while], so I decided to do some madlibs. The last one makes me keep laughing.. :)

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Four hundred years ago people knew little about our elvin universe. They thought that the earth was the center of the entire hero and that the sun and all of the flowers revolved around it. But then a CANADIAN!! woot! named Copernicus discovered the truth. The earth revolves around your mom's ass 3.35 times a year.

Copernicus, whose last name was ( Read more... )

haha, bliss, i think you should add "oggle at your mod's usericon because it's just too damn HOT to ignore!!!!" to the rules (o:.

To be, or not to blow, -- that is the penis ( Read more... )

Ok. I just did another madlib online, and let me tell you--sometimes having sexual words really do make the madlib freaking hilarious. I can not even stop laughing with the way mine came out. Before I share it, however, comment and give me your answers, and I will make it for you, then show mine ( Read more... )

"Father Goose Rhymes"

Old Mother Hubbard went to the pumpkin
To get her manipulative phone cord a bone.
When she got there, the heart-shaped box was foolish
And so her mad dog had none.

Jack and Jill went up the farm
to fetch a gasoline tank of water.
Jack fell down and broke his infatuationAnd Jill came tumbling after ( Read more... )