its hard talking and getting excited about your future life when your future life is unpredictable. paul and i keep saying "in denver we'll do this" and "in laramie we'll do that" and "in atlanta... you get the point. but every once in a while we throw in that huge IF. because it is entirely possible we will be in san diego another year. it is ( Read more... )

i feel kinda weird today. like i am just going through the motions but not really here. i have also decided now is time to panic. about moving and all the changes that requires. i thought i was totally ready to handle it but today i am scared. everything is going to be so different.

in the next couple weeks my whole life will change. huge decisions will be made. i feel like i wish there was something i could do to speed it up or at least move it along but there is absolutely nothing i can do but wait ( Read more... )

i went to visit my cousins today. anthony, who is 2 and has autism, and alex, who is 5 months and is adorably fat (20lbs). they are soooo cute. I got to hold alex a lot because my grandma can't pick him up cuz he's so huge. he was fussy and i managed to calm him down and then he fell asleep in my arms. i am totally afraid of babies cuz i feel like ( Read more... )

i'm sitting at home in the rain feeling grumpy so i figured there must be 10 things i am happy about ( Read more... )

i am more in love than i ever thought possible. i wonder how many people feel love to this extreme. really, it's amazing. not really words to describe so posting about it is kinda dumb ( Read more... )

Q: On my deathbed, I will wish that I had spent more time _________ ( Read more... )

rutgers in new jersey ( Read more... )

so paul did not get the nsf post doc that he really wanted and i am feeling super-guilty for being a little happy because now i won't have to go to pittsburgh. it would have been ok, i was totally ready to do it for him, but did i want to? not really. i feel bad cuz he is really bummed because that was the job he wanted most. it was the most ( Read more... )

this is all becoming real. my boss knows that i will likely be moving this summer. he said he would be sorry to lose me. i will be sorry to lose the first real job i've had. possibly the best job i'll ever have. the job that gave me hope and strength and experience. i am so different than i was 2 years ago. i was scared, unsure, incapable, ( Read more... )