Still alive and doing very well. 

 I know it's been months since I've updated this thing. Still alive and well... and very single.  Hate to admit this but I miss Tony and it sucks that he's never even seen our last child together.  

 you better sit down, kids.....

tony let me know that he doesn't want to be with me anymore.

he's left me pregnant and alone.

something i NEVER would have done to him.

merry fucking christmas

by the way... matt shadows... call me?

 i miss tony so much and i just can't take it anymore.
i need him and i don't know where he is.
i'm not sure if he even cares about me or this baby anymore.

this is from 3 years ago. december 2005 ...and if i ever have any doubt how much tony loves me... if ANYONE ever doubts it...  they are so fucking wrong.

( he's never stopped loving me )

these are some pictures of tony's show in jersey the other night. what can i say? the man still does things to me. those damn skinny jeans do it to me all the time and it sucks that i had to miss the show. i miss tony so much that i literally can't stand it. the ache is back and it's worse than ever.  he was home for a little while to take care of ( Read more... )

 i called tony last night to tell him about the baby and he rushed right home. i wasn't expecting him too. i really wasn't expecting to see him again. it was probably out of some sense of obligation to the baby. obligation to a child who isn't going to exist much longer because i'm still bleeding and at this point, i have no hope that it's going to ( Read more... )

 still bleeding a lot and i haven't told tony yet. i think he's in ohio tonight and he blocked my phone calls on his cell. i've thought about calling chris or steve and asking them to have him call me but somehow, i can't lower myself to do that. he'll call me when he's ready. or when he wants to find out how the kids are ( Read more... )

well, i have a few things to say and none of them are good news. first, i'm bleeding pretty bad and i might lose the baby. tony doesn't even know.  he's been on tour with his band and there was no way he could have forseen that this would happen.  i think it's safe to say that having another child is not something i can possibly do easily.  it's ( Read more... )

 Tony made me take another pregnancy test because I kept insisting that I wasn't pregnant. And it came out positive when he looked at it, so.... I guess I really am pregnant. I don't have any symptoms except for one bout of nausea. But I think that was from me eating an entire box of twinkies. Okay, that's a lie. It was two boxes and I dipped them ( Read more... )