I should be working out right now. I just woke up...and i'm tired. My nose is stuffed up. I feel sick and i'm gonna be lazy and not do shit. I lost 1.2 lbs from yesterday morning...but that's a pound heavier than i was at some point yesterday. Gah it's discouraging. 
I swear it's easier just starving myself. Easier/faster. I had planned to go back ( Read more... )

I'd love to stop the obsessive weigh-ins. On a good note, they help me keep motivated [if i am losing] but then again, they also stress me out hoping that every 30 min i've lost something.
I'd love to get down to just once a day... ha, maybe i will start with twice a day. Once in the morning, once after my work out and then that's it...? I would ( Read more... )

The best thing i can think of, which i kind of started but never accomplished, is to reward myself when i reach certain goals. My first plan was to buy these new shoes when i reached 155, ha! never happened...booo. It's been probably 3 months too..gah. Ok so i've got a few things in mind that i could use, but i just seriously need the motivation. ( Read more... )

I believe my only option left is to go on my diet/hardcore workout routine, instead of starving myself. Bc it works if i only have to lose like10, 15 lbs but i have to lose about 40. Sooo here we go again... I had my Y schedule all planned out this morning, but i fell asleep on it and now i have to do it again. I wish i just had a membership here ( Read more... )

Ok, where do i even begin? So much happened, too much to type all out... But i'll begin with my weight since it's on my mind probably 97% of the time. Well i definately gained weight, which was expected bc today was "binge" day... as long as i'm less than what i started at last week, which i think was 166.0. I should be bc i just weighed myself... ( Read more... )

ok i realize this is like the 3rd post in the past hr... but i've just been reminiscing and i'm so lonely. I realize this is my fault..but even before this happenned, i dont know why i didnt have  people that cared. Like facebook or myspace... i dont have many friends on there, and that's ok. But like on my birthday it's sad bc i only get about 1 ( Read more... )

sry for the obsessive weight posts. But like i've said... I'm a lil obsessive-compulsive. So i just weighed myself... was guessing 165... i was 164.6. i knew it. I'm guessing morning weight will be no less than 162 something... =[ and was it worth it? no. not at all.

But if i can actually get UP out of bed in the AM....call the new Y and find out  ( Read more... )

Ok, i've already concluded that my morning weight will be less than acceptable.
I screwed up. I was feeling weird and had rice cakes...boo. Now i'm stuffed.

Off the whole ED, i've been looking for a religion. I dunno, something i can fall back on. I believed in god til i was about 15. Then i questioned things, and no one could give me answers. They'd ( Read more... )

Hmm.. I got back today from class.. Good news: I got my test back and i got a freaking 100!!! What??? Yeh i'm pleased. But I weighed myself [after no food all day and one bottle of water] and i am 161.2 lbs. =[ I mean i'm not pleased, but it could be worse. Much worse. I just really wanted to be in the 150s tomorrow...and yeh, Ha! Oh i wish... ( Read more... )

So i came home from class and i've had nothing to drink or eat all day. Weighed myself, again: 161.6 lbs. WHAT?? Then i waited about a minute, got back on: 160.8 lbs. Okay, better, but i'm not sure sometimes my scale goes crazy like. So i waited a minute again, 160.8. I did that a couple times more and they said 160.8 lbs. Okay... I hope so. That ( Read more... )