[the muscles legacy] > 1.7
Catch up for extra credit:
[ 1.1 ] [ 1.2 ] [ 1.3 ] [ 1.4 ] [ 1.5 ] [ 1.6 ]
I could warn you, but there's no way I can prepare you for
If you're morbidly curious, the buildspam for the latest digs is in a separate entry here. The house is fully functional, but there's a lot of little things I want to add as they start to rake in the cash. Oh, and there are far too many bathrooms. :p.
Last time on the Muscles legacy...
Our favourite accident Beretta grew up and became a supergenius.
Sens: HELLYES. I'm done! :D
Sens and Yuuko finally graduated from college. God, that always gets so tedious after a couple semesters... >_<
And finally...
GlaDos: Welcome home. ;D
We're back at the good ol' rubble, looking a bit less rubtastical at the moment.
Sens: It's...
Yuuko: ...amazing! :O
Sens: What? No! My rubble! You knocked it all down--what the hell?
GlaDos: I also baked you a cake. ;)
Sens: ...glad to be back.
And they are back in full parenting form, evidently.
If you haven't guessed why there's a random baby there, I forgot to play the home lot while the rest went on college escapades, so the oldest two babies, Derringer Toyoda and Magnum Dork are much younger than Beretta.
Try explaining that to your children. ._.
"Well, dear, I abandoned you with a homocidal robot for four years of college, during which you did the Time Warp again and went into the future."
You know...you guys do have a brand new house, several balconies, and a changing table at your disposal. You don't have to play white trash on the front lawn.
Yuuko: Nah.
Sens: We're good.
Jerk Mascot: *prowls*
Sens: Aw, shit, he followed me back from campus! C'mon, Beretta, look nonchalant! *slaps daughter's hands fiercely*
Beretta: Ow! Christ, Dad...
(I'm keeping that darker hair on Sens since he ages up into it every time anyways. :p.)
Sens: GRR I DISLIKE MODERN AMENITIES
GlaDos: Yeah, those struts you had wedged into the walls for no reason whatsoever were so horribly uncooperative I was driven to bombing them out with nuclear arms.
Sens: Oh, cool! What yield?
Yuuko: I--I'm just going to go dig up my Geiger counter. Just to check. Don't mind me.
These two waste no time whatsoever in picking up where they left off.
Not that they've ever classic danced together before. ._.
...look, all I mean is: the kissin'. They do it.
Yuuko: What the--NO!
Yuuko: I bit my finger. :'(
Apparently she is fully completely jealousosity-free until marriage. ACR amuses me sometimes.
Sens: Hey there...um...you're...BB gun?
Magnum: Try again.
Hey, at least he's making the effort.
whoo ovular paintings
Sens: *touches up siding*
I'm slightly irritated my taskbar got cut into all of these shots.
It looks like these two are gal pals once more.
GlaDos: Did you read that article in last week's Cosmo, [INSERT NAME HERE]?
Yuuko: Oh, yeah! The '50 Sexy Things to Do with a Fedora' one?
GlaDos: Precisely! I have personally tested numbers four through twenty-seven with my weighted companion cube.
Yuuko: ...TMI, GlaDos. TMI.
GlaDos: I believe I am done here.
Parenting is...
Meanwhile, Yuuko teaches Beretta how to perform a jaunty Highlander jig.
Yuuko: Yes...YES! Faster, girl, faster! Kick higher!
Beretta: Mum...I...don't quite...work out...enough-- *collapses*
Nerds these days. Can't even do a fresh high kick on demand.
Uggz was still loitering on the lot from the time Yuuko and Sens went off to college. :D.
GlaDos: What the hell is this?
Beretta: W--what?
GlaDos: Fulfilling a want! Happiness! This is most certainly not part of the approved Aperture Science Life Simulation Testing Regime!
Beretta: DAD! Your fembot's scaring me!
Yuuko: Oh, thank god...
I'm right there with you, Yu.
I have to say, I don't normally play very many babies in this game. They're a pain.
Uggz: I awoke several hours later in a daze...
Yuuko: Okay, look: I invited you over one time in high school. It wasn't a VIP access pass to our household for all time. GTFO.
Jerk Mascot: Just takin' a walk, Officer.
GlaDos: Counters! The joy!
Heh. Potty mouth.
Beretta: I asked for some Faust before bed. My mother decided to go with Captain Underpants instead.
Yuuko: What? It's still a book. Books are good for...your brain and such, right?
Beretta: *crosses fingers for early acceptance into college*
Noodle: Er--the baby is trying to hug me again.
Derringer kept attempting to Hug the kitteh, somehow. I assumed this wasn't a good sign, he being a baby and all. ._.
Beretta: If my family won't stimulate my refined mind, then I shall just have to take matters into my own hands. Literally.
You're a rock star, Beretta.
Beretta: I am aware.
Beretta...it's three a.m.. Why are you getting out of bed, exactly?
Beretta: I--I don't know.
Can angry womrats actually wake one up? >_>
Seifer: BITCH GET YO' ASS OVER HERE.
Noodle: Beretta, I heard that damned rat all the way from the kitchen. May I just eat the stupid creature?
Beretta: N--no! He just wants a midnight snack.
Whoops. ._.
Beretta: Screw it, I'm tired. Noodle, prepare to munch.
I suppose this whole chronic insomnia issue is genetic?
Yuuko: I had a nightmare...I thought there was a monster in the teapot. :S
GlaDos: MORNIN', BITCH! >:O
GlaDos and Beretta have these utterly strange, unfounded, and out-of-character feuds. I have absolutely no idea what triggered it.
._. It's great.
Oh, jeez. Studly leopardwear, Sens.
Sens: Leopards have spots, dumbass. I'm a tiger stripe kind of guy.
Sens: OH NO, SHE'S INDECENT!
Yuuko: Um...I told you I was indecent. I asked you to have a bath with me. I thought it'd be romantic...
Sens: I'M SO MORTIFIED!
(lawl at me putting the bath the wrong way around)
Yuuko, however, has a better reaction to indecency.
Although she can't possibly see him around the wall. >_>.
It's better than throwing a freakout.
Quick! Take bets! Phailcake or winmuffin?
Yeah, yeah. Your cheque's in the mail.
Beretta: THE HORROR, THE HORROR--
Is phailcake really worth impaling oneself over?
Beretta: My brother saw my failure--I must repent with PAIN!
GlaDos: When you build a house, the needs of your child can come first.
Yuuko: You're going to be lording that over our heads for years, aren't you?
GlaDos: Naturally.
Unrelated, but I love how kids climb up onto the dishwasher to bus plates. :D
Aww--Saturday morning family bonding time.
Except for the cat, that is. Noodle, what're you--
Noodle: --chair. :)
Keep it special, Noodle.
Obnoxious Alarm: It's a new day, but it all feels old. It's a good life, that's what I'm--
Beretta: That bitch.
I really wish I knew the story there. ._.
Does anyone really flip pancakes that high? It's one thing to do a neat little wrist-flick so you don't have to muck about with spatulas and all that, but flipping your breakfast a good meter into the air is just plain showing off. ._.
SimSecret: I like when angry townies steal my paper so I don't have to go out and recycle a mess of old papers later on.
Beretta: So today there was this new kid in our class. He's alien here, but he's a nice guy. Fits in very w--
Sens: I bet he was from the moon! Frickin' aliens. How would they like it if we went up there in our spacesuits and went to their schools and crashed their parties?
Beretta: Dad, that's not exactly what I--
Yuuko: I think we should take preventative measures from aliens in schools, and ship any and all of them off for a one-way vacation on sight.
Beretta: Mom, that's just xenop--
GlaDos: Nevermind a vacation--let us just shove all the aliens on a boat and nuke them in unclaimed waters.
Sens/Yuuko: Hear, hear!
Beretta: ...Edwardo? Look, you have to--yes, this is Beretta. You have to get out of the country, now!
Serving gelatin in the middle of the day can only mean one thing: it's birthday party time!
GlaDos: What? No, I just think the way it wiggles and wobbles autonomously is simply marvelous. :D Plus I have one cooking point. ._.
...that's nice. You're still throwing a birthday party.
Beretta: Grandma! Help! The evil bitchbot is attacking me!
Syla: ...ooh, gelatin.
Well, all the guests came, but where are the hosts?
GlaDos: WHY...WILL...YOUR...ARMS NOT COME OFF?!
Beretta: HELLLLLLLLP--
Oh, and Xiu Xiu is love, oui oui?
Meanwhile, I scroll upstairs to find that Sens is being pulled into an ethereal grave or something. ._.
It figures that bloody uninvited mascot would have something to do with this.
Is he going to be haunting the legacy house for all eternity? 'cos that would be lame.
Sens: HAX!
Luckily, all the Fight Club ass-kicking Sens did in college shone through and trumped the floating ethereal cow.
See, kids? Higher education is useful.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
(The ranch being the kitchen. ._.)
You know, nobody cheers like that for me when I have a birthday party. Does anyone else actually get noisemakers and shizz? Have I just been left out?
Yuuko: Shut up. You're spoiling the moment.
This bloke is Derringer!
He has a nifty jawline. I think he'll grow up well.
Yuuko: OH IT'S TOO BRIGHT hey how's yours comin'?
GlaDos: I forgot to change him! :D
It's Magnum's turn now.
...DR. ZAIUS, DR. ZAIUS.
...oh, god, what the hell happened?
GlaDos: Experiment: Human-Robot Genetics is reaching a humourous crux. :D
Beretta: Haha, my mortal enemy's daughter is hideous. :D
Seriously.
SERIOUSLY.
Nobody deserves a Dr. Zaius.
Nobody.
Derringer: Haha, you're already unloved and insulted. *looks smug*
Magnum Dr. Zaius: ...FML.
To top it off, she somehow aged up into this starch white suit that I think is normally a male toddler-only outfit.
Girl gets no breaks.
The other girl is not getting breaks handed to her by the bushel, either.
Jerk Mascot: Fuck off.
Beretta: ...
Beretta: Aw, screw it.
Wow, the jerk mascot is even smarmier without the uniform.
Cheesehead.
Okay...I stand by my earlier statements regarding potty training faces, but GlaDos has some seriously entertaining ones, m'kay?
Eire: *belches*
Go home.
Eire: Maybe later. :D
._. What the hell is the lure of this bathtub?!
Eire: O HAI DEARIE YOUR AUNTIE EIRE JUST FOUND YOUR TUB! :D
Beretta: I hate my life, I hate this house.
GlaDos: If I cannot birth an attractive spawn, I shall just have to construct one!
Dr. Zaius: Yo, gurl. Give me some sugar. I'm lonely. D:
Eire: Well, aren't you just...um, just...
Eire: ...just a...picture. Yeah.
Dr. Zaius: HUMAN CONTACT YAY! :D
Narcissism does not look good on you, Magnum.
Not a whole lot does. ._.
...alright, I guess I'll quit with the THE HORROR, THE HORROR bit now. It's just...damn, what happened? D:
I don't like how the telescope is the only simple way to gain Science enthusiasm if you're not in the Medical/Science careers. I miss the potions table from TS1--that shit was epic.
Beretta: I don't get a shout-out in this caption, do I?
Sorry, rants take priority.
Dr. Zaius: oh dear, should I take the bottle or shouldn't I? it's obviously a delicious bottle but oh dear what if there are consequences? my hand--no, I shall sate my hungry tongue with my furry glove, and stare that delicious bottle down, for I do not need it, for I am better than that and--
Yuuko: HuzZAH!
Sens: *unsuspectingly stares at photo*
...you guys should be more careful. Haven't you ever seen Shaun of the Dead?
Beretta: Mm, that sweet scent of nature in the morning! :D
...when the hell did you go into the tent? >_<
Did someone take the liberty of using your bath again?
Or was it these two, going at it like donkeys in the basement prison?
Sens: We're really more like rabbits.
GlaDos: Well, he is an ass.
Just use protection, okay?
GlaDos: Good morning, [INSERT SPECIES HERE]!
Noodle: ...I don't want to see you; I don't want to talk to you; I definitely don't want to meet you.
Beretta: Oh hey there, selfsim.
GlaDos: Lookin' fine. *purrs*
Maximillian: ...why the hell do I still come to their parties? Why?
The presence of randoms and gelatin in the background can only mean one thing...
Somebody finally gets to grow up!
Maximillian: I'm too cool to celebrate.
GlaDos: I do not like you enough to celebrate.
Beretta: Aw, you guise! :D
Jerk Mascot: *sneaks up to ruin party* Damn, milf.
I don't get it. I never invite him in. This isn't a uni lot. What the hell?
GlaDos: I have seen a biped cow! This will do wonders for my research! (+2500)
Sens: Mm, jello.
Beretta: Well, it's not like I expected to be special on my birthday or anything.
I like Beretta. She looks like she'll always have a baby face.
I'm a little disappointed she didn't roll Knowledge for the sake of her being a supergenius, but she's been acting more like a Popularity sim in-game so far, so I don't mind.
Jerk Mascot: What is cake?
You know you've been in uni far too long when baked goods pose philosophical dilemmas.
A party's not a party unless everyone else has to watch those two make out somewhere high-profile.
Yuuko: Um...don't mean to intrude. Really.
Noodle: trust no fridge trust no fridge don't take your eyes off it trust no fridge
Sian: Say what? Damn, bitch, you're still a VIRGIN?
Beretta: Shut up, Grandpa, please. Shut up.
Sian: That shit is lame!
After the party, I send Beretta and Yuuko out to buy some new clothes. I head to this place with a hair salon upstairs and find the most epic hairdressers ever:
I can't really say why they entertain me to no end, but hey. ._.
Of course, Beretta guns for the pretty anime nerd.
Beretta: Did he...did he just pierce my eyebrow with scissors?
Safety first, kids.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
GlaDos: Hey there, sleepyhead.
GlaDos: I shall keep this brief: I am leaving. I do not consider our relationship fair to Yuuko or to your children. So...
GlaDos: Goodbye, lover. I will see you soon. Oh, and you can keep our failed genetic experiment. Thanks.
Downstairs, Tsuna an...Tsuna! She's at most fifteen! What the hell?
Tsuna: Allllright. :D
She does, however, redeem herself by backing the jerk mascot into a wall.
Fierce.
Beretta: He's mocking me, isn't he? That's it, I'm definitely getting a stereo in my room.
They cope rather well with the loss of a third parent.
Yuuko: Aww, why do I have to hold this one? D:
...greenhouse party? Really?
...didn't Beretta eat that phailcake?
Yuuko: Made another.
You have nine bloody cooking points. Go make some pork chops.
Only the classiest food for this household.
Actually, this picture is here just because I want to know how shitty a cook one has to be before one can burn a muffin all the way through, not just on the surface. I mean, look at that thing. Can you imagine how that tastes? ._.
Yeah, no shit. Supergenius and all.
Picture is unrelated, unless you consider it an artsy socioeconomic commentary.
WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR VENDETTA?
Jerk Mascot: He wouldn't let me poke him that one time. He knew that meant war.
Beretta: Okay. I'm now a crossing guard.
In my city, the only crossing guards are little old ladies sporting parkas in the middle of summer. Seriously.
This pic is just:
a. to show the cuteness of Beretta
b. to show the cuteness of that little easel thinger
Dr. Zaius: Awwwwww! :D
Derringer: Awwwwwwyouowemefivebucksforthis! :D
Beretta! You go to pick up someone at work, and this is all you can reel in? :\
Beretta: I'm a crossing guard. It was this or a forty-year-old woman named Bea.
Family bonding means cramming into the small hallway of your kitchen in spite of the fact you have a great sprawling house and ample room to sit elsewhere.
Derringer: Um...Dad, you're kind of sitting on me.
Sens: I am aware.
Oh, thank god. No more toddlers!
Sens: psst, Yuuko...IT'S OVER! :D
Yuuko: Mhm. :3
Okay, well, this is the kind of favouritism we're not used to seeing...
Derringer still looks pretty normal, and Dr. Zaius still looks like an ape.
At least this time she's wearing gender-appropriate clothing so there's no moment of questioning there.
Not that there's anything wrong with a powder-white tuxedo on a female toddler or anything...
Sigh. Next time on the Muscles legacy...
I don't actually know. Maybe an heir? Is the first generation supposed to take eight updates? Does anyone care? :D