[the muscles legacy] > 1.8
Catch up for extra credit:
[ 1.1 ] [ 1.2 ] [ 1.3 ] [ 1.4 ] [ 1.5 ] [ 1.6 ] [ 1.7 ]
[ downloads ]
Warnings? A couple:
One, not a whole lot happens--I was going to play until the kidlings turned to teens, but...that didn't happen.
Second, turn back if you don't want to see naked sunburned apes.
You have been warned. You cannot be un-warned. ._.
Last time on the Muscles legacy...
MAGNUM DORK recieved 12 EXP!
MAGNUM DORK has reached level 16!
What? MAGNUM DORK is evolving!
Your MAGNUM DORK has evolved into a DR. ZAIUS!
(And Derringer grew up as well. ._.)
Beretta became all womanly and epic. She's Popularity/Romance, with a side of super genius. It's great.
GlaDos: Goodbye, lover. I will see you soon. Oh, and you can keep our failed genetic experiment. Thanks.
GlaDos has left the building. She took her tasty cake with her.
Annnnnd the not-technically-twins grew up again. Some people choose to maintain hope for Magnum Dr. Zaius, but I choose to laugh at her regardless. For now.
Right after the birthday par-tay, Yuuko rolls an incredibly butch want.
Yuuko: What? I like...heavy machinery. And hammers--hammers are cool.
I know your OTH is Tinkering, but you have two whole mechanical points. Seriously. ._.
I bet it's just Tsuna sending psychic butch waves at you from the background.
Tsuna: Nope, just lewd glances.
However, Yuuko manages to fend off Tsuna off by getting her cougar on.
Yuuko: Momma likes Beretta's cast-off.
Beretta's Cast-Off: *twitch* Why does this family treat everyone like a piece of meat?
Dr. Zaius: Oh shit! It's half an hour past my bedtime! Mom's gonna be so angry...*does best A-Team impression*
Dr. Zaius: No...no, it's just too far. Game over, man...game over...*fails miserably*
Glad to see this life stage is off to a pretty start.
Oh, hell yeah.
A pretty start.
Why does she look forty in the picture? ._.
Yuuko! That's just cruel! Almost as cruel as what you're doing to your child for your personal amusement.
Yuuko: What? It could be worse...I could just be giving him away.
I suppose. But he's not even your cat!
Yuuko: Oh, we're talking about Noodle?
._.
Tsuna: Okay, here's what you do to stay in the heir race, kid: steal all of their shoes and pawn 'em off for cash. Use the money to pay off kids at school so you look popular without trying. Then spend all your nights working out so if anyone tries to get you to 'move out' to a 'well-decorated spare household', you can threaten them 'cos your biceps are larger than their head.
Derringer: H--how do you know all this?
Tsuna: Hey, I did a lot of things before college.
...Beretta, you're still a rock star.
Beretta: I know. :)
Actually, I rather like that painting...I'd pay for than two bucks for it.
GlaDos: Sens, I know I left you several days ago, but I have just remembered that simply marvelous date we went on when you were a teenager! Here is a completely unrelated telescope for the pursuit of MOAR SCIENCE. :D
Oh, wacky game mechanics, you.
Okay, so this picture looks horribly inappropriate and privacy-invading (and, well, it is), but it does have a purpose.
Derringer has that weird glitch child males get where a phantom xylophone plays when they take a piss. :D
I only read that could happen a few days beforehand. I fucking love it. ^_^
Derringer: That's nice. Now get out of my bathroom.
Derringer sleeps in the room with all the scissors, by the way.
Sorry, onilplayer ...you can still sleep sitting in the barber's chair, if you want?
lol failc--
Dr. Zaius: You know, this failcake reflects how people look at me: ugly and burnt on the outside, but the potential for tasty cake is still hidden inside all the crispiness.
...You totally interrupted me, there.
Dr. Zaius: Oh, sorry.
Now that the kidlings DON'T HAVE TO SLEEP IN CRIBS ANYMORE (huzzah. :D), everyone can gather for a nice family breakfast in the mornings. How quaint.
Sens: ...and then I told that old bitch, "Lady, you're ancient. Just give up the ghost already." An' then she hit me with her purse. :3
Derringer: Awesome!
How quaint.
At least the good doctor aged up into something gender-appropriate this time.
Look, I have nothing against transsexualism or androgyny or anything like that at all--it's just that I like to know whether I'm looking at a male or a female. :\
Dr. Zaius: ...no problem.
Aw, jeez, Beretta...if you're going to keep picking up randoms from school, fine--just try to go for the more attractive/interesting ones, okay?
Beretta: I don't ask them to come over, okay? They just do. It's that bloody aspiration perk you made me choose--I'd rather just paint romantic portraits in the evening, not fend off greasy high school students.
Greasy High School Student #014: She's talking about me. :D
The OMNIDRIVER: Next time I'll pick up some homeless from a bus stop and drop them off here. XD.
Of course, since I'm a callous and shallow person Simmer I have Beretta brush him off and head into town to find someone a little more suitable.
This doesn't mean she's heir yet--I just like mah kidz to have choices, you know?
Beretta: Fine--if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right. How's my hair?
I just noticed that she can see her house from there. >_<. Great effort you made by going there, Beretta.
Beretta: What? I'm sixteen--I have a curfew.
Yeah, yeah. Let's meet the contestants townies.
First off is this...bloke.
Beretta: He's older than me. Plus, I prefer blonds. Come on, you chose my turn-ons.
Fine, fine.
Bloke: H--hey, wait...
Would you prefer--
Beretta: OMJ IS THAT MILLA JOVOVICH?! :D *befriends and gets autograph*
Um...as long as you're happy...
Beretta: Oh, no. I'm definitely not a lesbian--but come on, she's Milla Jovovich.
Milla: I'm like the Resident Evil nerd's Angelina Jolie.
Well, there's no one else here yet. Hit on the first bloke for...um, 'practise'.
Bloke: No thanks. I'm not going to settle for being your second choice.
Beretta: Oh no you did NOT just say that. Milla, did he just say that? I think he just said that--
Milla: I do believe he did. You know, I admire a straightforward, aggressive man.
Bloke: Well, I admire a hot security guard who adapted the T-Virus to give her inhuman strength and telekinetic powers.
Milla: I'm never going to come out from under that role, am I? *realises perhaps the red dress wasn't the best fashion choice for 'incognito'*
Oh, relax, Beretta. There's always--
Um. Well, in that case maybe you could--
Beretta: Have a stiff drink? Yeah. I do believe I wi--
???: Beretta?
Beretta: Auntie Eire! Last time I saw you, you were...well, haunting my bathtub. And a good ninety percent less pregnant.
Eire: Well, you know Toju. Always pushing for the babies!
Beretta: Was he? I never noticed...
Eire: Well, he was always pushing for something. Hey, grab your friends over there and we'll sneak you in to a nice club, what d'you say?
Beretta: I say...
Unsavoury Charlatan: Magnifique!
Beretta: Yeah, even I have to admit that's a kick-ass dress, Milla.
Milla: I know. C'mon, let's get a picture. I don't know if I can stand that French guy ogling me any longer. ._.
I love photobooth melding. o_O
Beretta: Is this what I'll look like when I'm older?
Hopefully you'll have a neck.
Although their little outing was 'Rockin' or whatever the hell the top of the rating system is, all Beretta encountered was a couple of Wild Middle-Aged Single White Females With Admittedly Nice Haircuts Sporting Sportsbras.
Beretta: Can't I just wait 'till Magnum and Derringer grow up and age a few schoolfriends with them?
Either you go somewhere else to prowl, or you date Uggz.
Beretta: That's not even funny. That's just cruel.
Luckily, some random called her up for an outing the moment she got home. Ah, popularity sims.
Goopy: an' we're rollin', we're trollin'--
Everyone Else: Shut up.
Beretta: *quickly distances herself from the rest of her outing* Okay, spill. Who are my options here?
Well...
There's the DJ who's high on PCP.
There's this bloke who defies fashion, sanity, and limits on the amount of jewelery one should wear.
And finally, there's the admittedly adorable bartender.
Beretta: We've already been over this. I'm not a lesbian. Well, unless this pattern keeps up, anyways. ._.
So be it. For your insolence, I sentence you to a most grueling task...
You are to chat up Benjamin Long!
Benjamin: Oh, please. The Cold War was the biggest hoax that side of the Berlin Wall. I bet you still believe the government is elected, too.
Beretta: You don't believe in any of it? Communism? Civil disputes? Those funny fur hats?
Benjamin: No, I'm telling you, it w--er, d'you mind?
Insolent Hussy: No, not at all!
Beretta: Really? How 'bout...
Beretta: ...NOW?!
Insolent Hussy: *oof*...um, I just remembered I have to go to the washroom! Right! Bye...
Benjamin: ...what the hell did you do to her?
Beretta: I accelerated the molecular decomposition of her breast implants using a finely-located static charge. MOAR SCIENCE FTW.
Benjamin: Oh, you've got to be kidding me. That's definitely a--
Beretta: Yeah, yeah, it's a hoax, whatever. But to suffice it to say, if I wasn't straight before that...
Townie Who Is a Little Too Old to Be Rocking Pigtails: So I, like, totally saw your dad when I was, like, totally on the school bus today.
Beretta: I figured, since he was outside when I got home and we're on the same bus.
Townie Who Is a Little Too Old to Be Rocking Pigtails: No, like, Beretta, I, like, saw him, saw him.
Beretta: Oh...you mean in the down-low tingly kind of way?
Townie Who Is a Little Too Old to Be Rocking Pigtails: Like, exactly.
Beretta: Oh...
Traumatic thoughts 'n' experiences FTW!
Beretta: Well, I suppose he is a reasonably attractive man...
Townie Who Is a Little Too Old to Be Rocking Pigtails: Like, hells yeah, Beretta! :D
Well, I'm scarred. How 'bout you?
Townie With a Suspicious Diet: Mm, girl smells like barbecue.
Beretta: Excuse me?
Townie With a Suspicious Diet: Um...I said I could go for barbecue. I think there's one out back, I'm going to go check it out...
Beretta: Please do.
Beretta takes a moment to befriend good ol' Countessa 'cos, let's face it, it's good to always have one in the family phone book.
Beretta: Hey, I think the tall black woman loitering in the back alley eats people. I bet she'd taste real good with that diet.
Countessa: Really?! Many thanks for the tip, child!
However, on her way out back poor Countessa was bested by a most formidable foe.
Countessa: For years my kind have walked the earth, not hindered by the likes of insolent rotating metal devices of witchery!
Meanwhile, Beretta is waging wars of her own.
She committed the cardinal sin of attempting to exchange pleasantries with an old woman in a Gothic nightclub.
Crumplebottom: YOU HORRIBLE YOUNG HUSSY! HOW DARE YOU INQUIRE AS TO HOW MY DAY WAS! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!
Beretta: W--What'd I do wrong? D:
Well, that outing ends, but Beretta's still mateless. Yet another lot yields nothing but...
...a rather adorable husband and wife coffee shop.
Beretta: *simultaneously hit by envy and teh kyootness of the two*
So I give it another day and send her out again. ._.
Hey, she's a popularity sim. She likes it.
Beretta: I do not, you stupid fuckin--*mmmpphhhhhk....*
She likes it.
Beretta: Barkeep! I'm here to get plastered and throw myself on many men. Give me something...chunky.
Barkeep: ...I know your father, don't I?
However, she doesn't have enough time to get shitfaced quite yet.
This is Roderick Inoue, a teen bloke I may or may not have just created along with a handful of others expressly for this purpose 'cos I'm shallow like that ._..
He has a slightly strange facial structure which may bite potential offspring in the arse, but after Magnum I'm convinced strange faces are more fun. :D
Beretta: Well...okay. I'm Beretta. I like painting and trolling Wikipedia 'cos I'm a nerd, but I also...ahem...I also like teaching the cat random things and growing indoor plants. AHEM. I like decorating too. AH-HEM?! My room's pretty full of--THESE ARE MY BREASTS.
Roderick: So I've noticed. :D
The kid's a Romance sim, if you haven't guessed.
Beretta: Hey there. Look, I know we've just met and all, but d'you wanna make use of the communal showers with me? I like to torrent the movie before I buy it, y'know what I mean?
Roderick: ...did she just use internet nerd jargon while telling me to take my clothes off? *instacrush*
Oh, part-Romance sims.
No, really. She wasn't joking.
Beretta: Bathing has a low influence cost. It's a highly economical means of voyeurism.
I'm glad I spent so much time finding her someone nice. ._.
Roderick: Um, I know we just showered together an' all, but you look really hot in that swimsuit.
Beretta: Um...thanks. Why'd you put your clothes back on?
Roderick: HOLY SHITE YOU'RE ALMOST NAKED! :O
Beretta: ...as are you. As we have been for the past two hours.
She really goes for the smart ones.
Roderick: Mm, Beretta, you give the best backrubs in town!
Beretta: I know. :)
Maybe they're cut out for each other after all.
Beretta: ...wait a sec, "the best backrubs in town"? What the hell are you insinuating? D:<
Roderick: ...kiss and make up? :3
Classy outfit for your first kiss. Really.
Constantine: HOMEGIRL'S GETTIN' SOME! :D
Beretta: INORITE? :D
Jan Tellerman or Whatever her Stupid Pregenerated Townie Name Is: *pokes Roderick's nipple*
Roderick: Ehehehe! :D
Roderick: Babe. ;)
Jan: Ooooh, that was lame. You really should just cut him out of your life, you know. Like this!
Too many graphical glitches this update. I know!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Sens tempts fate for the nth time.
Sens: What? It's no more dangerous than Beretta hitting on Countessa.
...how the hell'd you know about that?
Sens: That high-powered telescope GlaDos brought me. I have to do something while you take my eldest for a night on the town, you know. >_>.
True, 'dat. I suppose I should get back to the generation I'm actually supposed to be posting about before they--
--aw, shit.
Sens: *chokes* h--help--
Noodle: Can I have your stuff?
Sens: It...was...fun...you...guys...La...guna...Ki...ros... It...was...fun...
Noodle: *noms hair*
Sens: BWAH! :D Gotcha!
Noodle: o_O HOLY SHITCAKES!
Sens: You can't have my stuff, you know.
Noodle: W--what if I do this?
Noodle: Like that?
Sens: WHOO GO NOODLE!...but no, seriously, you can't have anything of mine.
Noodle: Cheapskate.
Yuuko: Ah, the sweet smell 'o fries in the mornin'! :D
Sens: Um, that's just the unwashed sweat in your headgear thing, dear. I don't believe you wouldn't get that drycleaned.
Yuuko: Piffle!
I got Yuuko a temp job--she moved into Architecture like she wanted later on, but had to take a pit stop as a commercial mascot or someshit first. :D
I wanted her to get out of the house sometimes, too.
So did Sens, but for other reasons.
Sens: Okay. Yeah. She's gone.
Sens: You can come out naaa--mm.
After school...
Beretta: I--I can do that too! Easy!
Beretta: See? See?
Random Schulfreundin: Er...yes, I s--
Beretta: I'm still the favourite, right? Right?
Random Schulfreundin: ...oh, look at the time. Bye.
Yuuko: Who's the boss? Who's the queen? Who's the Burger Queen? :D
God, this family really needs confirmation.
Derringer: You are, Mom! And your costume smells like deep fryers! :D
So, Magnum's OTH is Sports. It has to be, seeing as how that's the only hobby I haven't tried for her. It has to be, seeing as how that's the most lame, least exciting, and not profitable hobby there is.
Oh, and Derringer has it too. ._.
In an attempt to assuage some of my anti-Sports angst, I put Magnum's $150 towards a nifty axe-throwing target thing only to find out children can't use it.
Okay...well, I can see why. I don't axe-tually want Magnum slinging axes at shit. But it's still a pisser, y'know?
I am profusely sorry for that pun there but I'm leaving it in.
I think this is part of my RAEG. The underaged teenager gets a firearm of her own, but the good Doctor is not allowed near melee weapons?
Beretta: Can't you even acknowledge the fact I'm an overachiever?
RAEG.
Beretta: Screw you, too. *spends her paycheck on plants then goes out on yet another date.*
First thing they do is undergo some mad Transformers action in the photobooth and morph into your average high school emo. Go figure.
...no, seriously. I've seen people who look exactly like this. It's just uncanny, that's all.
Beretta: Aww, the camera missed our epic morphing action! :(
Roderick: It's okay, babe. We'll try again, sometime. Well, hopefully we'll get a little too sidetracked in there to bother. Heh. Heh.
Beretta: Aww...
Roderick: Um...Beretta? You okay there?
Beretta: Aww...I'm fine. Give us a kiss.
Yeah, so...her face remained set like that for most of the remainder of their date. I've absolutely no idea why. ._.
Roderick: Okay! :D
The boyfriend didn't seem to notice.
Milla: Beretta. Kiss kiss, dahling.
Beretta: Milla! Kiss, kiss! Followed closely by...um...Spock?
Derringer: Hey, guys! Are we thinkin' 'double date'? :D
Milla: *whispering in Beretta's ear* We're thinking he's following me and I can't fucking lose him and can you distract him while I run to my car?
Beretta: We know how to deal with Spock by now. Call the second you get home.
Milla: Thanks thousands.
Beretta: Huh. Sun's up.
Roderick: Mhm.
Beretta: Look! Orb. :S
Roderick: ...yeah, you're not to pull any more all-nighters unless we're in bed, okay?
What with two college grads raking in promotions and a whack of painting done on the side, I drop a good 15k fleshing out the art room a bit. :D
I think I turned out pretty well, although I can't decide if Adele's epic alien chair is quirky out-of-place or just too random out-of-place.
Here's the flipside.
Oh, and this is my problem with massive Legacy houses: I like every room in mah Sims huts to be over-decoed like this one, but in a lot that big it gets kind of laggy. It just sucks to have to keep the hallway empty and shit like that. :\
Beretta's room is getting epic, though. She buys random items with her KYOOTE TEENAGE PAYCHECKS.
But yeah.
/rant
Sens: Hey, hon. Don't wake up. I'm just going to suffocate this goddamned noisy womrat with a sponge.
Beretta: *snores*
Sens: Good girl.
Okay, wait. I have another rant. :D
I don't talk this much in real life, I swear.
Who the hell 'serves' cereal?
If I were to get up at six and pour milk over a nice heaping bowl of cereal, it would all become soggy in fifteen minutes flat.
And how the hell are you supposed to transfer it into your bowl for eating? A ladle? A cereal ladle? Do they make those specially? 'Ribbed for your Corn Flakes' pleasure'?
What the hell?
AND FURTHERMORE!
Who the hell dishes out individual portions for everyone in the house, regardless of whether they're coming right away to eat or not hungry at all?
Why do mean Sims do it too? Couldn't be that miscontrued as a favour for the other Sims rather than a pisser to make them clean up even more bowls of stinking cereal?
What the hell?
Beretta: A--are you mad at me?
Oh. No, actually. Thanks for making breakfast for the kids, it saved making me get Yuuko or Sens up.
Beretta: Oh. My pleasure.
She doesn't sleep much anymore what with all the outings boosting her mood. It's nifty.
*cough*
/rant
There is no conceivable way one could guess these two are half-sisters.
Beretta: Well, we share the same...
Dr. Zaius: ...pyjama colour?
Beretta: Right. And nose.
Dr Zaius: Kind of.
Beretta: Kind of.
Dr. Zaius: Right.
Beretta: Dad painted a portrait of me? That's nice of him!
Noodle: *approves silently*
Evidently, favouritism is discouraged in this family.
And update. ._.
*cough*
The OMNIDRIVER: I agree!
Random Schulfreund #084: W--what?
The OMNIDRIVER: You're coming over so you can make a move on Beretta in spite of her new boyfriend, right? Well, I approve! Beretta's a beautiful girl. You should go for it.
Random Schulfreund #084: Um...okay. Thanks?
The OMNIDRIVER: Of course!~ The OMNIDRIVER sees and knows all!
Random Schulfreund #084: ...oh, I get it! You're like, trying to make us think of the words 'omniscient' and 'omnipotent', and you're called the OMNIDRIVER, so it sounds kind of the same.
The OMNIDRIVER: ...yeah, that's my...my...
Random Schulfreund #084: Your thing.
The OMNIDRIVER: Yeah. That's my thing.
Random Schulfreund #084: Well, it's not a very obvious 'thing'. It should just jump out at you, right? I had to think about it.
The OMNIDRIVER: Yeah, you would.
I check Beretta's relationship panel with him after one Admire just to see why the options for Kiss and Dance and such were there.
Turns out bringing the bloke home from school netted them an instant 45/45. ._.
That's just a little overly friendly, if you ask me.
Random Schulfreund #084: Sh--she likes me! :D
Wow. Looks like all the kids have something.
Dr. Zaius: HA-HA! Lalala, Derringer's a tranny, Derringer's a tranny!
Derringer: Am not, you freak! I was the Prince!
Dr. Zaius: HA-HA! Only girls listen to Prince!
DAMNIT, KNOCK SIX.
Knock Six: What? I thought you said you liked it when people steal your paper.
Can't you take the old one too? ._.
I mean, it's bad enough I forgot the Headmaster was coming over and both Sens and Yuuko are still at work.
Knock Six: No can do, man. Sorry.
IMPOSTOR HEADMASTER WHOSE NAME IS VINCE AND NOT BJ: Well, hello there, little...um, going with girl.
Dr. Zaius: Hi! Mom and Dad aren't home yet, but I can show you around our house if you'd like.
IMPOSTOR BJ!: Um...I take it you'd be attending our school were I to let you in?
IMPOSTOR BJ!: WHOO! It's the Chairman! You are so getting in! (+15)
Dr. Zaius: Um. Okay. I think Beretta made some KD if you wanna grab a bowl.
KD. Works like a charm. Cooking skills optional.
Dr. Zaius: And I helped stack plates!
Yes. Yes you did.
*remembers Beretta magically wasn't in private school after the move for whatever reason*
Beretta: Mum and Dad back yet? I've got to go meet Roderick.
Dr. Zaius: Oh, just go. I'm stacking plates! :D
I hate how they stand around gurning for ten minutes after ordering coffee. Just take yer' fuckin' drink and go.
...don't worry. You don't have to wait for it. That's all there was to that rant. :)
Fun fact: you can call over other Sims when you're sitting down on the floor.
Beretta: COUNTESSA, GET YOUR VAMP ASS OVER HERE!
Beretta takes the term 'date' rather loosely.
Beretta: What? He's in the restroom. I figured I'd get some air.
Slowly but surely, Sens and Yuuko are becoming that sweet old couple who sit with one another drinking coffee late at night.
It's kind of sweet, actually. :D
Yuuko: She's got to be home soon.
Sens: Yeah. Yeah. We said eleven. Soon.
...or paranoid.
What'cha painting?
Beretta: Eh, just a romantic little picture for Roderick. Fifth-date anniversary. I think it's dorky, but he's into that kind of thing, so...
Awww. What's it of?
Beretta: Um...me in a swimsuit.
...
...Beretta.
Beretta: I know, okay! But he's a romance Sim! You know how "romance" Sims are!
Dr. Zaius: Oo-ooh. So how was your hot date with Roderick?
Beretta: Shut up. You wish you could go on dates.
Dr. Zaius: ...yeah.
The OMNIDRIVER: A succession of private school uniforms? I approve! :D
...whoa. I didn't screencap the first one 'cos it's just that boring little costume chance card all careers get that you never ever win, but I won it. ._.
That was good English I had going on there.
Yuuko: Can I ask you a favour?
Sure. What is it?
Yuuko: I want a butler. I've wanted one since I was a kid, actually, but we've got a lot of money stashed away. We could all use some help around the house, and I'd like some time to focus on my sewing. Plus, he just has the cutest little icon!
Well...okay. Just for the icon. And only until I get sick of him serving up TV Dinners for no reason.
Yuuko: Thanks. Just for a few days.
Mean Schul"freundin": Haha! You fucking monkey bitch! *concusses Magnum with football*
Dr. Zaius: Hey, this Sports thing is fun.
Derringer...you're not winning yourself any points or BEING INTERESTING AT ALL. Now stop jumping on the dead.
Derringer: Don't you mean 'bed'?
Yeah, but it was a funny typo and I left it. Get with the program.
...shit. I think I know where this is headed.
Dr. Zaius: I don't feel so good...*wanders off to find a suitable place to go comatose*
Mean Schul"freundin": Hey, you're actually pretty cool, Monkey Girl. Let's be best friends, kay? :D
Dr. Zaius: I think I'm dying...+4000.
Mean Schul"freundin": Okay, well, look at the time. I'd better go.
You're not invited to her birthday party.
Sens: Oh, shit, son! *misses with the water completely*
Dr. Zaius: *rises* I'm NOT your SON, you jerkface!
Sens: It's a phrase, Magnum. Simmer down. Literally. ._.
Her method of coping with heatstroke is not a visit to the clinic, but baking not only the first winmuffin in my legacy, but in my entire game as well. :D
God, I hope you want to become a Celebrity Chef.
Dr. Zaius: Do they get to chop up people like that guy in Halloween?
Sometimes.
Dr. Zaius: Okay. :#3
Admittedly Adorable Bartender: OMJ, that's BERETTA romping in that photo booth! YEAH!
Dyed Hair, Indecent Kimono: Um...no, Beretta's over there eating at that table--
Admittedly Adorable Bartender: It's BERETTA in there! Shut up!
Beretta: Err...it's really not.
Okay. Getting your face glitched up once is a fluke. Twice, you're doing it wrong.
...wait, are you missing a muscle in your lip like yours truly? :D
Beretta: Helllllllp. D:
Yuuko: Damn. I think I'm doing it wrong...
To be honest, I like the failcurtain better than the other ones you can sew. Seriously. Those things are so bright and hideous...
Beretta: Lullaby...and goodnight...
Um...sweet sentiment and all, but I'm just creeped out by that. Get to your own room, Beretta.
Beretta: Huh? Where'd Seifer go? Is he...OH, THANK GOD, he's DEAD; he won't keep me up at night anymore! :D
Grief comes in many forms.
Carmen: SO I HERD U LIEK FOUNTAINS SO I PUT A FOUNTAIN IN YOUR--
Sens: Hey! Get the fuck out of here!
Personally, I just want to know how she fit a stone fountain in that sack of hers. ._.
quick make a joke make a joke
call the ghostly old butler in the window a pedo who wants his hands on derringer's orbs?
no, that's distasteful
shit
why the fuck is there a dog there? inquiring minds want to know.
okay, i give up
Derringer: Mom, you got nature all over your face. Here, let me get it.
Yuuko: mmmmmpht
Okay, I laughed so ridiculously hard at this in spite of the fact it's not even funny.
I'm not the kind of person who laughs out loud at much, either, so that's how epic I think it is.
I don't know if it's still entertaining as a still image or not, but I'm not going to try and explain why it's so fucking hilarious and hope somewhere, someone out there gets it and I'm not alone.
Dr. Zaius: We have bass spawning in our front lawn? Go figure.
Stinky: You'd best give us that fish, little girl. If you know what's good for you.
Alabama: He means it.
Dr. Zaius: Aren't I supposed to be the one that's made of fail in this family?
Yuuko: Um. It's these damned new work boots, no traction...
Derringer: I lost my worm...:(
Dr. Zaius: No surprise there.
Magnum: Fetch the axe, boy! Fetch it!
Stinky: :D GOGOGOGOGOGO!
See, I knew she'd find time to play with the axes eventually.
note to self: make mod replacing the fetch stick with an axe.
DO WANT.
Meanwhile, Beretta's off living the good life. Well, the curiously-lit light, anyways. There's nothing good about Kindergoth in the corner there.
Kindergoth: *purses lips for JAZZ HANDS*
Only Beretta can headbang in a swimsuit and get away with it, in my opinion.
I mean, come on.
It just works.
Meanwhile, back at theOH FOR CHRISSAKES, NOT AGAIN!
It's nighttime! How the hell do you get sunstroke in the nighttime?
Dr. Zaius: I--I have very sensitive skin, that's all.
You have a richly tanned skintone!
It's also at this point that I realize I don't know how to cool Sims down. I don't have a pool. They can't take a cold shower. There's no ice cream.
The Social Worker's breathing down my back 'cos Magnum can't get over her freak midnight heatstroke. What am I supposed to do?
Okay, well, it seemed like a perfectly solid idea at the time, alright? >_>
Noodle: You can be such a fucking idiot, you know that?
Dr. Zaius: And nobody's exactly gotten me to feel good about my body...
I panicked, okay?!
Meanwhile in what I sincerely hope is a coincidence, Derringer discovers the thrills of masturbation.
...when I took that photo, that joke was going to be a lot more subtle.
The next morning is Sunday. I know that has no real meaning to you, but I have a little tradition in my game: whenever I find mah sims are falling too much into routine, I declare a Formal Sunday in which all family members must wear fancy dress and do no strenuous physical activity.
Why?
I find it bloody hilarious. :\
I mean, doesn't fancy dress make even failcakes acceptable?
The first event of Formal Wednesday is a Sparkling Pretentious Breakfast.
Yuuko: Screwable.
Derringer: ...an' I tol' him, 'Damn, you've gotten faaaat...'--oh, did you say something, Mom?
Yuuko: What? No. Nothing.
Beretta: Oh, Mother Dearest. There are no secrets at the Sparkling Pretentious Breakfast Table. Do tell. ;)
They'll work on that 'pretentious' bit.
And this is just further proof that absolutely everything is better and less awkward in fancy dress.
The suspiciously sparkling cereal helps, too.
And then--
AM I COOL NAO, peasandlove ?!
'cos I feel like a bit of a poser. :\
Next time on the Muscles legacy...
Maybe I'll actually get to do my Formal Sunday. :\
Age-ups, and inching ever so slowly forwards to an heir.
Oh, and I'm moving out of town, into res in exactly three days' time. And then, the start of university. Go figure.
The next update might be a bit delayed, but who knows.