i woke this morning with blood under my fingernails and a sense of reality that was drenched in pain ( Read more... )

to w/m kids to whom its relevant;
i'm taking black studies 406 on brasil,
east asian cinema 280 in chinese
photography seminar 460
LCST 401 modernism + visual art

take them with me

potentially pending news from the prof i will rejoin the performance ensemble

i've been feeling pretty stifled here lately; i can't really remember what i meant to write other than to say i really want the feeling of waking up in a city and staying there, building a routine around the things that i childishly stroke in satisfaction when in bsas or paris, i mean, subways and apartments and so forth. been feeling very tempted ( Read more... )

speaking with john knapp in the cafeteria today touched off a long chain of associations already started by other things, morrisey songs i listened to in my room off of mixes i made in high school, talking to stephanie and will last night. i'm so far from that isolated lonely place where I was then (in hs); where johns kind, gentle self seems to be ( Read more... )

what i meant by that comment about jordana as platonic ideal for me is an emotional flash i had earlier today which i am reminded of as i look at her myspace photos, it is that the idea of woman as impulsive and beautiful and dangerous and drenched in femininity that i got from stendahl and byron and my dad's lying anecdotes and tennessee williams ( Read more... )

thinking a lot lately about what i'm going to do after graduation and i'm even applying to indianapolis public schools. for all that i give so much care i dont give a fuck just let me find a life where i have money and am 21 and a new self. half of me says that and the other half of me is writing impassioned emails to a person who i feel really ( Read more... )

my livejournal/my thought is essentially a constant reiteration and elaboration of ideas i've long had, i call that "perfectionism in thinking," which goes well when the subject is the constantly evolving pop culture continuum. its strange, when i interact with people all day long i find myself weaned out of the continuum just because its largely a ( Read more... )

i'm watching german rap videos, surrounded by paris rap city, and we know london is grimy also. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C4aAt2wKDw for example; bushido, the french rap scene is pretty well known (enough so that andy beers is into french yoboy bands) a theme thats been ( Read more... )

i return to the taoist themes of reconciliation, these days; i've been taking a lot of pleasure in things like pushups, watching old movies again, washing dishes, sweeping floors, sorting recyncling. endless repetition can be considered erotic, in both senses (erotic in the platonic sense of loving life and in the sense of sexual). this summer if ( Read more... )

the last few days have been so full of doings and also of thinking ( Read more... )