I started a blog to give my parents a better idea of what I do all the time, seeing as I'm terrible about updating them. I think it will make this journal obsolete. I'm going to keep it for communities and to keep up with the rest of you, but if you want updates from me, go here: http

"The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. . . . It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive, day in and day out ( Read more... )

I went to Austin for a day last weekend to have lessons with the professor at Southwestern University. He hit the switch to the lightbulb in my mind. I was under the impression that the difficulties and uncertainties I have experienced occurred because of some innate flaw(s) I have. He showed me how to make my playing feel secure and stable. Who ( Read more... )

Ah poverties, wincings, and sulky retreats ( Read more... )

I may not be going to Memphis next year. I've got a plan to figure out whether or not this is really the right decision for me now. My father really wants me to try to stick it out because I'm basically going to school for free, but I don't like the school here. The expectations aren't high enough. It's too easy to get by without much effort. ( Read more... )

Barring any drastic changes in our relationship (i.e., if we're both still "single"), Colin is probably going to come to Memphis for New Year's Eve (and likely some days after then). I can't stop thinking about it. We'll have the apartment all to ourselves ( Read more... )

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I still think of him constantly. I tear up at least every other day thinking about him. God, we were beautiful.

You are tired ( Read more... )

I'm getting worse and worse at hiding my general unhappiness. I don't feel as if I have an identity anymore. I don't feel like I have a quality that makes other people want to be around me. I used to. What happened?

Back to Memphis tomorrow. Here's to hoping it gives me a boost.