*feels uneasy*

*wanders round looking for someone new to screw, or screw up, to take his mind off things*

Dior?

I have something for you...

*big, evil grin*

*dives into an icy cold river and scrubs himself off vigorously*

*invents flat-pack furniture*

*is killed*

*re-assumes a body at a safe distance*

Lomion?

[Edit: Smut-warning. Probably at least a hard R.]

*stalks round the woods around the hut hideout, cursing*

The perfect plan. The perfect fucking plan and look what's happened. That bitch has spoiled it by being too tired and locking me in the cupboard. And I think I'm allergic to the dust in there.

*changes form and manifests a hammer*

*writes a note*

Ereinion, son of Fingon and some cheap whore,

Your other cheap whore is currently under my protection, and I must say that she really is as delectable as ever. That gown really does wonders for her figure. Very pert.

I can think of other pert things.

Deal with the Mariner and get them for me.

Cheers,

Melkor.*makes it arrive ( Read more... )

*smirks contentedly*

*tries to open his eyes and then remembers he doesn't have any eyes left to open* *or the rest of his head for that matter*

*hovers over his body and sees several other conspicuously missing parts*

They did WHAT to me????

*fumes* I liked that organ. It had its uses

*gutteral snarl* Foolish elf-brat. I am a GOD!!!!!!!

*conjures himself a ( new body )