Forget all this negativity ( Read more... )

And once again I'm miserable. and this is the worst. and i'm so lost and confused. I love that the one person I trusted more than anyone to not hurt me, ended up being the one person to hurt me the fastest, and the most.

Gary is officially my boyfriend now. Today is his birthday but I won't be up to see him until next week. I don't even believe it yet. I'm happy.

it's so hard to work unless I have something to work for, or towards. I can work for you.

no wonder i'm always sad or stressed or angry. do you know how it feels to be fighting every single second of your life? with yourself? for yourself? or maybe against. I can't tell anymore.

i have no one to talk to about this. i'm so scared. it always hurts.

I don't think it's a good idea to ask questions you already know the answer to.

Okay.. we're going to put off the wedding for awhile hehe. But I will be going to see him soon... maybe even next week.

I'm volnurable....... and he wants to get married.

This is ridiculously and unneccesarily painful. I would love to learn how to be completely apathetic.

my recklessness astounds even me...