So a year has passed. I have made it a year. It was an anniversary I never wanted ( Read more... )

Can this all be done? I'm tired of putting on my mask so that I don't ruin anyone else's christmas. I'm tired of trying to be happy. I just want to crawl into a corner until this season is over. All of it. I want to be a complete and utter grinch about it all. but no I have to be cheerful and happy because it makes everyone else uncomfortable ( Read more... )

It’s odd the things I find triggering and will almost always make me sad and miss Rob. Every Monday night I find it tough. It’s garbage night. And Rob took out the garbage. He did a lot of other chores around the house. He did laundry and dishes and generally kept the house tidy. I did the cleaning. I’m doing all that he did and it’s not a big deal ( Read more... )

Yesterday was 6 months since Rob's passing. Tomorrow is his birthday. Last night I went to a support group I've been going to for a while. I go to the loss of spouse group as I don't have a lot of questions surrounding the suicide portion of his death. There was a wonderful gentleman giving a speech, Ian Henderson. He is a speaker on grief. I ( Read more... )

I hope I have averted more work woes. I had meetings yesterday, one of them with a partner, and my counter part S1. I told the partner that I felt like something was coming down the pipeline, that I was about to be blindsided with something. That S2 and I were not getting along still (they know about this already) and it was getting worse ( Read more... )

I dreaded coming into work today. S2 and I are still not getting along work wise. I am not her manager anymore but we still have to work together. And I am having a hard time, not managing her, and she is having a hard time not expecting me to solve all her problems. Something will have to give. I may have to say, just do as I ask, and that is ( Read more... )

Last night I had a meeting at the gym I joined. It was a health/fitness assessment. I'm taking it all with a grain of salt. They said no running, be careful of the kick boxing classes, watch out for the yoga, stick to walking and light weights. *sigh*. Grain of salt. I've heard it, and considered it, and now I will continue to do what I think ( Read more... )

I have so much to let out so much to say. I don't think anyone reads this any more, and that is alright ( Read more... )

This year can't be over fast enough, not that I am particularly looking forward to 2014 ( Read more... )

I have't posted in forever ( Read more... )