I am going to start blogging again one day. But, today is not that day.

Fish Feed. I crack myself up.

So I was jerking off to an info-mercial for the Ionic Breeze when I realized that black people don't eat a lot of fish. As I was finishing the rub down of my rod to the thought of having clean air through ionization, it occurred to me that god wants me to feed fish to the darkies. With your help, we can start an adoption agency where us white folk ( Read more... )

It's ugly, it's pink, but it works. (Everett/Snohomish)

Naturally, I thought of Jill's pussy.

I'm very similar to the guy from Good Will Hunting. I'm just as violent but just not as smart.

I'm drunk beyatch

I was watching Dave Chappell and had just taken a drink of my beer when Dave said something hillarious. I was struggling to keep it in and not send the beer out of my nose. To do so I bent over and held my nose and mouth, still laughing, I noticed my shoes next to my feet. Flashback! I don't remember when or where but here is what I remember, or ( Read more... )

Best excuse to leave a chicks house after you banged her:

I have to go, Newlyweds is on in 5

Anonymous prostitute

"You don't spend three blissful years in a donkey show in Tijuana and not learn a little something about love. I just want someone who will hold me on cold nights, whisper sweet nothings in my ear, and remember where I hid the handcuff key."

Have you ever realized that some people's only redeeming quality is that they are friends with you?