There are many out there like him but this one is mine. His name is Chicken.


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This is why I like lj, so that you don't forget shit. Now if I can get lj to find my keys, my debit card and my miiind, I would be made in the shade.

( An ambulance pulled up to the neighbor's house the other day. )

This is a dangerous thing to do and I have unfortunately, done it twice in my lifetime. Multi-tasking in the bathroom. No, I wasn't taking a crap this time, because I really should have been sitting down. My once monthly brushing of teeth, drinking a cider, talking on the cursed phone which I hate with a fiery passion and. Cleaning out my ears with ( Read more... )

Deluge. I like that word ( Read more... )

When I was looking after my mom after her husband Red died (and what a love story they had, man). She was in and out of the hospital (actually down the hall from him as he lay dying) and consequently, we both picked up a horrible virus. She got sick first and by this time, I was a spiteful asshole, resenting the fact that I was spending 3 or 4 days ( Read more... )

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It's that time of year again, heathens. Time to oil up your weapon of choice and fuck me up the ass. Yesterday was my birthday but I am celebrating it today being as I spent yesterday crying in my thilthy little trundle bed, curled up in the fetal position. Getting batshit crazy old sucks. I need someone to follow me around and do this for me.


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I just got out of the hospital not long ago. Bacteria in my blood. While I was alone for 4 days before that and in a delirious fog, I had a few episodes that still have me phoning people like my buddy Deb to tell me that no, she did not get me to photocopy her dog. Not only did I take a pic of her dog (in my mind) , I also got the printer going and ( Read more... )

... are hungry and craving some palatable porcine pleasures. What to do with a pork roast? Why, wrap it in more pork before you throw it into the oven.


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