It's the day after Christmas. I'm at work doing no work. Half the office is on leave. So I guess I'll take the time to write the blog entry that I've been meaning to for a while ( Read more... )

My life has no direction and no meaning.

With my hips not getting any better, I finally went to see my doctor last week. He poked at them and moved them around. He said he didn't feel any grinding that would indicate a problem with the joints, so he told me to let them rest for a couple of weeks. Most likely, I just have swollen muscles and/or tendons and haven't given them ample ( Read more... )

My uncle Mark moved back home from California and into his parents' (my maternal grandparents') house in 1990. He had been unemployed for some five years before then, and hasn't been employed since. Exactly what's going on with him is a mystery to me. I don't know if he has some sort of mental illness or if he just has a tragic case of laziness ( Read more... )

The Zoloft withdrawal hasn't been bad. After two weeks, though, I'm still not completely over it. I have generally felt happier and more upbeat since I've been off the pills. I guess they were moderating my good moods as well as my bad moods. Unfortunately, I'm right back where I started with the whole social anxiety and perpetual loneliness ( Read more... )

As I'm lying in bed tonight, I'm finally crying about my grandmother's death. I hadn't before now. I blame the Zoloft.

I'm giving up on Zoloft. I've been on it since November, and it hasn't made a significant difference in my life. So why continue? It's probably spared me a few nights of depression, but the root cause of social anxiety remains ( Read more... )

This morning, I got the phone call that I've been dreading for a long time. My grandmother passed away last night. She was at home, which is what she wanted. As I've said, it was time. It's for the best. Nonetheless, I'm so sorry that she will no longer be a part of my life ( Read more... )

Since switching to a mostly-organic diet, I've lost nearly 10 pounds. I wasn't expecting that. It makes me wonder just what I've been putting into my body all these years, even when I thought I was eating healthy. Unfortunately, I've lost some strength, as well. The mostly-organic diet hasn't included much meat. I'm starting to take more ( Read more... )

Lockheed Martin started sending out offer letters to people on the contract they're taking over yesterday. Very few people are getting decent offers. Most everyone is being offered 10-40% less than their current salaries. Plus the health insurance is twice as expensive, 401(k) matching is lower, and the leave accrual rate is low. There doesn't ( Read more... )