I'm thinking about relocating myself.

That means you streetcar.

You are not above the law.

You cannot cross the road when you are faced with a red light.

When you honk at me when I am crossing the road because I have a walk signal, but happen to get in your way it makes me think thoughts that are not, in fact, peaceful.

Fuck you, you big red monstrosity.

I will cut you.

I will cockslap the next asshole who asks me for a FRAPPICHINO. Honest to god, starbucks does not run the menus of all the coffee shops in the world, so don't get huffy with me when I say we don't have those and pretend I have no idea what you're talking about ( Read more... )

It's times like this that I wish I had a camera. For the past ten minutes, instead of working on my final essay, I've been concentrating on the dude outside my window who is determined to learn how to manage a pogo stick at 11:15PM. He is continuously jumping off of a car which may or may not be his onto the pogo below. This city is so weird.

So, I finally found a new place to live after inevitably being kicked out of the dorms. I'll be living in SE PDX near Powell on 29th. Oh, and there will be house warming parties.

I hate the inner core of any frat boy he thinks he can be fucking smooth and then ask me to do his part of the group project. So I told him to do it himself, it was only the fucking bibliography. Half hour later I get a call, "Um, how do I cite a source?" I'd like to send him back to grade school ( Read more... )

That's right I was at the Arcade Fire concert last night. Let's just say it was an experience. Of a lifetime.

Everyone asks me for cigarettes, but no one ever offers. Also, next time a homeless man yells at me for having any spare change, the iron fist is coming down.

Friday night was-

Mac 'n Cheese at Montage
Drinking the perfect amount
"I want to fuck you on a yacht"
Stripping to underpants and swimming in a fountain in downtown Portland
Someone running down the hallway of my dorm with no bottoms on
An excellent trade for the hangover the next day

I can tell when I am generally not pleased with my life when I am spending hours everyday on webmd checking my symptoms and then going into spirals of anxiety when reading about my possible diseases. I wants finals to be over. I wants my week long break from work. I want a huge, moist slice of chocolate cake. I want to feel worse about smoking ( Read more... )