HOLY MERLIN'S BEARD ON THE SPIRES OF HOGWARTS CASTLE FLASHING MULTIPLE COLORS LIKE SIR SIRIUS'S UNDERGARMENTS ( Read more... )

HELLO, HELLO, HELLO, Good MUGGLES / WIZARDS / WITCHES / VAMPIRES / HAGS / NONENTITIES / RED-HEADED PONCES of Brawl. How do you do? Albus Severus Potter at your service. Pleasure to write at you, as per always. Had you missed me? Perhaps you pined away in that time? Sacrificed goats and hippogriffs and little first year Gryffindors in an effort to ( Read more... )

Now, now, good citizens of Brawl. I come bearing GRAVE and SINISTER news. Or, well, partly grave, partly sinister, partly disturbing, and partly hilarious, but ALL in BULLETED form.

• THE APPLEBY ARROWS BARRELLED OVER THE BALLYCASTLE BATS! And they said it couldn't be done. Next thing we know, the Cannons will have actually caught the snitch and ( Read more... )

Under No Circumstances Whatsoever did I leave the Slytherin dungeons last night. I did not sneak off to a random party in some odd country and I most definitely Did Not take Scorpius Malfoy with me. The utter berk ( Read more... )

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have a Very Important Announcement to make.

It's life-changing, this one.

Never ever--I repeat, for added emphasis--ever mix Firewhiskey and Butterbeer together. It tastes like utter shite. And apparently causes more than one person to run into statues and couches, but that might have just been because Goyle and Nott are ( Read more... )

James Sirius is a complete and utter twat and it is completely and utterly his fault that Mum nearly killed us last night ( Read more... )

This place is wicked. Well, the whole Mum-and-Dad-being-almost-our-age-and-not-together bit is off, but I got to meet Teddy's dad and Dad's godfather and Uncle Ron. Except, well, Uncle Ron's a bit young. And I've only met them all metaphorically. Or rather, just over the internet. But details, really ( Read more... )