tragic. postively tragic. that is what my life is. she is so cold to me. i was most definitly right. i tried and i failed. dammit. now things will be fucked up with everyone else. what to do, oh what to do.

hmm. next year. living hell. oh just let it fucking consume me. it's better than this. i want to live in that book.

god, why dont you just ( Read more... )

im so sick with the anticipation of it, im actually sweating just thinking about. just thinking about it is filling me with some kind of artificial, temporary happiness. even though i know it will end. but not soon, so no worries. so let me be. let me excite myself to the point of  madness. cos thats what it'll be when its over, mad crazy.

i fucked ( Read more... )

see, i told you i wouldnt fix things. i just have a problem with thinking i can do things when i cant. what a fucking bitch. i want out.

i cant believe i have to wait fucking two weeks to get the hell out of this place. i will most likely die before then. somebody come save me. i should just run away. i really should.

started another fast today. ( Read more... )

craisins are definitly good. i love them.

im so excited about leaving. i talked to my aunt last nite and i really miss her and the rest of my family. i cant wait.

things are slightly more ok. slightly. but everthing is still lame as fuck. so i just count down the days.

alisha is gone for a week and a half. so no more random shit for a while. im ( Read more... )

went to pride parade yesterday with abby. it was extremely entertaining. im  really glad i got to go.

as usual, i talked to hayley. we are planning shit for when i come.

talked to my dad about the same shit.

trying to fix things. more later if i do.  but i probably won't.

saw an old face yesterday. or the back of them.

i think im gona start ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

You move, like I want to
To see, like your eyes do
We are downstairs
Where no one can see
New life break away
Tonight I feel like more
Tonight I...

You make the water warm
You taste foreign
And I know you can see
The cord break away
'Cause tonight, I feel like more
Tonight I feel like more
Feel like more
Tonight...

You breathed, then you stopped
I ( Read more... )

b
talked to i know who yesterday. that was nice and i kinda miss them.

went the mall two fucking times: once with alisha, the other with kim. i dont know what the hell i was thinking.

today i went to bass and im guess me and anisha are doing something tonight. fun shit.

my dad called today to talk to me about all the dates i'll be in st. louis. we ( Read more... )

slow day today...not bad, just slow. went to grocery store with mom. i know, lame.

had to reschedule with anisha. for friday nite. that's ok mos def. cos now at least i have weekend plans. those are always nice.

my mom is such a bitch. she was making fun our dog's groomer cos hes gay and is taking off work on fri to go to the gay pride parade. i ( Read more... )

hmm.....decent day today. well i guess that's good. my mother  and i got into another stupid ass fight....all better now, even tho i dont get an apology. which i deserve, mos def.

hey kelly, by the way if your reading this tell me what happened with tim.

so i get to see anisha again for the first time since school got out. not sure what we're ( Read more... )