I can't help but think that I dont deserve a lot of things that has happend in my life, both good and bad. Life is a bittersweet mixture like that ( Read more... )

This emptiness within seems to expand with every breath I take, leaving me completely directionless and blinded by the darkness that has exploded within me...purposeless. idealess. emotionless. i sit here and hear the echoes around me and the song that is playing in the distant, but nothing is recognized. the only thing that awakens me momentarily ( Read more... )

okay so I just registered for the GRE exam on november 19th. yikes!! I decided to cancel my trip to India because I will not have time to study for the exam. not only that, I dont want to go to India by myself. So when I return to America, it would be around the end of August. So that gives me about 2 months to study for the GRE exam and about 3 ( Read more... )

So I was up late last night formulating a project for one of my classes...when he messaged me. I thought that it would be another Brandon situation where even though Brandon and I spoke for 2 years, when we met, he disappeared off the face of the earth. However, this is different. Josh told me that he was busy with classes and that he had a ( Read more... )

If there is a skill (or rather a flaw!) that I should put on my resume, it is that of jeopardizing myself. It seems that i purposefully do things to jeopardize myself and then I get depressed later. i have been jobhunting for about 3 months now and I havent found ANYTHING yet!!! and I just have one more month left in order to find a job...for that ( Read more... )

This month has been going by incredibly slow. I feel as if I am in twilight zone. It feels so strange, especially since all the teachers that I have become used to working with, has been transferred to other schools. and i dont have as many lessons to teach as I used to. I dont know what it is ( Read more... )

I am shrouded in the shadows of other's memories. within these memories I become vivid and alive...Today was the soubetsukai (Farewell party) to all the teachers that were transfered to different schools.It was only until the end of the party did I realize that I will never see these people who have given me sooooooooooooooo many memories, ever ( Read more... )

here, i sit among the many items that gives my life a veil of meaning: my computer, my planner that i often lose myself in, items of the future rather than the present, movies, DVDs, my alarm clock and my work clothes that are crumpled up on the floor and abandoned at the far side of my living room/bedroom. It seems that my surroundings are ( Read more... )

Today was the graduation of my third year class in Junior High school. they have left a lasting impression on me. The memories, moments and attention they have given me is priceless. somethings in life are worth more than money and it is these moments that I truly live for. During the graduation ceremony, I saw some of my favorite students ( Read more... )

so I just informed my school about not recontracting. well actually they asked me early if I was going to stay another year. my boss, the really kind one, Namba san came this morning as well. he was the one that is rennovatingmy apartment at the moment and he is also willing to find an apartment for me in the city! He has taken me out to dinners ( Read more... )