i want to slit my wrists. okay i dont actually want to do it. i just needed to write that. ive beeen feeling so violent lately. as in i know i wont ever be able to carry out acts of violence, but within this one week ive gone through every possible emotions the book. recieving my brotherz email informing me that my family was falling apart quite ( Read more... )

okay, so here I am stuck in a rut. doshio kanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. ( in Japanese that means what should I do?) For one thing, I have made up my mind to leave Japan this year. My heart truly aches that I am leaving. I would love more than anything to live here for another year, but this is not an ideal world. Sometimes in life, you don ( Read more... )

aaaah, one of the main reasons i do not want to return to america next year is because of my family's mentality, especially that of my mother. she will never change her way of thinking and it is so hard for me to put up with that after i have truly blossomed into a mature , responsible adult in japan. I cannot deal with childish antics. i ( Read more... )

I look upon this life of mine and wonder, what am I doing? Why do I care so much about people? Why does the incessant need to please others haunt me? and then when that is not fulfilled, I am left feeling inadequate. the constant need for others to like me, maybe. why, I don't know.maybe being in a ricefield has boggled my brain a bit, so I am not ( Read more... )

Upon contacting the art history department in the University of Syracuse, I made an important decision in my life: I am ready to continue my education. I know I do not have the money ｔｏ purse ６ more years of college, but I do know that I can get a nice scholarship. I know that when Iｔｒｕｌｙ desire something, I do what I can to attain it. Im always ( Read more... )

the bitch is fake. fuck. I sucked it up and I wished her a Happy New Years even though she is fake. the 'she' that I am talking about is my cousin. you know what, fuck it, i will mention her name. her name is salisha. I always had a bad feeling everytime I was around her and it was mainly because her true feelings and true intentions never ever ( Read more... )

I am traversing through a misty fog; the further that I walk, the thicker the mist becomes until it has swallowed me up in its nothingness...I have never felt so torn apart as I do now. Ive never been as indecisive as I have been now. Prior to coming to Japan, the decisons that I made were not as detrimental to my future as the ones that I am ( Read more... )

can someone tell me why some random guy named franco from turkey called me on skype? he seems really nice though and his english is very good. but i've noticed that ever since I have been in japan, random things like this happen

It’s been quite a hectic three weeks in Japan. Wow I can’t believe that it has been three weeks already. So much has happened in such little time. I’m trying to think of my time spent in Italy as compared to the time I am spending in Japan. I think going to Italy was more of a shocker for more reasons than one. For one, it was the first time I have ( Read more... )

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. ( Read more... )