-
Poor Anna: the Sex education chapter
OMFG: Anna's homework over the reproductive systems! I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. Here's an example ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Oh lovely. Dentist appointment before the oral final. Maybe I should go throw up now so I can free up the rest of my schedule. If I don't get several restorative gin and tonics the moment I get back home, the nerve strain could prove fatal. I'd hate to be the first in my family to die of the howling fantods. -
(Untitled)
Dear Ben Stein,
Screw you for making that stupid Intelligent Design movie. The existence of your wretched film (Godwin's law, motherfucker) allowed my lab partner in Spanish a perfect opener to Witness to me. I'm the one who had to explain the term Onanism to her. (Even the most backslidden Nazarene is capable of Advanced Biblical Judo. Poor ( Read more... ) -
Remind me why bettering one's self through education is a good thing.
Oral finals tomorrow. In Spanish. If it were the other kind, I wouldn't be so nervous. -
(Untitled)
As long as I can remember I've sounded out other people's songs on whatever instrument I happened to be obsessed with at the time. I've picked out classical melodies on recorder in grade school and clarinet in high school. I've pieced together 80's songs on my folks' electronic keyboard and plunked out pop songs on the baby grand they had for a ( Read more... ) -
Confession
I have a weakness for comedic songs. Yes, they are the fast food of music--they are good while they last but afterwards leaves one feeling greasy and ashamed. I can't help it. It was my mom's Smothers Brothers records that started it all. I'd like to justify my problem by pointing out that their rendition of Mason William's Last Great Waltz had ( Read more... ) -
Steel Anniversary
Eleven years ago today, Corey and I giggled our way through an intimate wedding ceremony at the Douglas County Courthouse. I'm sure the judge said wise, wistful things but I don't remember any of it. I have a few mental snap-shots of annoyed family members on both sides: I was about four months pregnant at the time and you could see the dismay ( Read more... ) -
February: the longest month
Corey usually sends me to my mother this time of year because I become Teh Crazy. For some reason when it is cold and the land is blanketed in dirty gray snow, my brain decides that it's time to go over the painful memory files, just in case I've managed to forget or get over any. Thanks to medication, I don't physically flinch anymore when they ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The weather, she is deadly: high winds, blowing snow, 0 degrees F (-18 C), and a bracing -22F (-30C) wind chill. The way to school and back was some white-knuckle driving. The wind was whipping the snow around so hard that not only was there less then a mile visibility, but it looked like white surf pouring across the road, an optical illusion ( Read more... ) -
Where You Been
These long, cold, dark Midwestern winters always kick my ass. All I want to do is hole up with snacks, trashy novels, and a selection of thick, heavy alcohols. Trouble is, I'm surrounded by idiots who want to 'get things done' like stage the Mikado starring 75 fourth and fifth graders, sell 5000 cases of three dollar Girl Scout cookies, and have a ( Read more... )