im sick.  i had the a disturbing dream last night. i was at like waterworld or something and was standing on a slide which was a line for a slide with a fat man and a character from some book i read named Clyde. so we were going down the waterslide, all 3 of us on 1 tube and we were all standing up like surfing and carving on a waterslide.  then ( Read more... )

i just realized that i have yet to mature to an emotional level beyond 6. You know the age where the kid thinks everything is hers and thinks just great and always right and will cry if she doesn't get her way. im that. and i also get really huffy sometimes and huffy is the worst. its like on the edge of smack your face but kind of sad ( Read more... )

my life has grown stagnant. i walk into my room and i immediatly want to turn around and leave. all those fucking girly things from childhood, i still have stuffed animals and winnie the pooh shit in my room. im im listening to a CD i got in 6th grade from a show i saw in 6th grade. i just found something i wrote a while ago in my other lj, and ( Read more... )

i am happy right now,,,, and i like it. duh. the thing about me when im happy is that im really annoying. exibit A: the subject bar ( Read more... )

i was just at the bball game (it was cool, courtney like won the game) and i was sitting with people but i wasn't. it seemed like i was 1/2 there because im so not myself when im uncomfortable. i just make really snide cruel comments i regret later. whatever, i think i have social anxiety but im quick to diagnose ( Read more... )

i have this terrible aching, anxious, indescribable feeling in my stomach. once again, i am wasting my life being a bitch or isolating myself for fear of being a bitch. but im not allowed independence anyway, so even if i wanted to have a life worth remembering i couldn't. i guess if life is for making good memories and having a good time, i don ( Read more... )

i like this. i hardly did anything and have hardly anything planned for this weekend, but im content. i went to practice, home, ellery's, home. and yet i don't care. w00t?

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i've recoiled from people in general on purpose but now i regret it. if you take yourself out of people's lives than you can't expect to be in them. its just kind of hard for me to accept. its so much work to be my best self so i find it easier to be alone so i can only let myself down. please, be kind, don't drop the rock on me.

ahh so fresh. i don't really know what the point of a switch was, i just hated that kelseyequalsme nonsense. well, ill probably abandon this lj for the fucking kelseyequals me one anyways because a new thing is to much work and i am tired so goodnight.
and by the way, have i changed?