Shear chaos has now erupted in my "life"...I moved out of my house last week and was living at Family Motor Inn with some friend because i had nowhere else to go...i met a guy named James and he was everything i had been looking for...i went against everything my family told me(just because they're racist bastards), and continued to see him... ( Read more... )

For once in my life i can honestly say i am happy...Doug has got to be the best thing that has ever happened to me...He treats me with respect(most of the time), but most importantly he makes me feel like i am worth something...When i am with him i get lost in ecstacy...i black out, making all my surroundings unimportant, blurry...i still have ( Read more... )

I havent been on in a while...but just to update you i might be moving to Bourbon with Doug...yay!!! he got out of jail last night, he went in for an outstanding warrent or some shit that was from before he went to prison...so thankfully he got everything straightened out...im going to get a job at paramount that way we'll have more money...we're ( Read more... )

ive been sober for 2 days...its driving me crazy...the thought of brandon is tearing me apart...my horoscope said that i would have love in my life today with someone ive been longing to see again...that can either mean brandon or doug...but the one true person that i love is brandon...so hopefully that is true...

Brandon is out of the hospital...he's okay which is a good thing...i dont know why people would say shit like he's dead when its not true...im actually kind of pissed because he just left to go party as soon as he got home...so maybe it didnt open his eyes...but the sad thing is i would take him back in a heartbeat even though he's put me through ( Read more... )

Chaos has now errupted in my so called life...Confusion has taken over...Im sick of being used...of people in this town talking shit about everything even if its not true just for their own selfish fulfillment...i am to the point now where i just dont care about life anymore...it is nothing to me...i can honestly say i have nothing and no one left ( Read more... )

Last night i went out with Doug again...He took me to his cabin out by Potosi, the cabin didnt have any electricity so he lit the fire and lit some candles...Then we made love by the fire, it was the most glorious time ive ever had...ive never seen him act so sweet...it was like being in a dream...i know it sounds really stupid but i had a great ( Read more... )

Im completely helpless...i have nothing left in this world...i found out i might have cancer...and i missed my court date today so i might be going to jail for 4-10 years...over something that i didnt even do...but like a dumbass i took the blame for brandon...love fucking sux...i miss him...but i know its for the best ( Read more... )

Its a cold world when your alone...on the streets...ive been there...that is why i fear for him...he is alone with nowhere to go...i wish there was some way of letting him know that i love him...let him know that i never did the things i was accused of...i have to go to court on the 28th to testify..i told them it was just me and he had nothing to ( Read more... )

Sometimes its hard when your so deep inside ( Read more... )