After 22 years, I thought I was safe. Then WHAM! you decide to waltz in and expect to be treated like family. After another year, and being told I'd be left alone numerous times, and then not hearing from you - I felt great. I'd even forgotten about you. Now, you've just angered me. It's one thing to bother me; I can ignore your pathetic attempts ( Read more... )

Talking outloud to other people about what's been bugging me lately has proved to be a good thing. It's almost as though there is a secret person listening in on my conversations, and making things better after I talk about them. My mind is still noisy, especially at night; but definitely better than it has been. I still wonder everyday if I'm ( Read more... )

I love myself. I love my family, and my family loves me i return. I love my friends, and my friends love me in return. That's enough, right?

Life changes so fast. The worst part is, when you can't do anything about the change and you don't want it. It's not even the issue of not trusting other people, sometimes you can't even trust yourself to make ( Read more... )

You know you're way too stressed out, when a crazy man at the subway station makes you cry for no reason. Okay, maybe he scared me out of the daze I appeared to be in, but I still shouldn't have bawled over it.

I kind of just want to go to bed and let today be over. Nothing seems to have gone right today. I tried to apply for a couple of graduate ( Read more... )

Getting out what I was feeling today to someone was good for me. It's like practice, for actually saying those words for real to someone else. At least I know I"m not crazy, and being completely rational in my thinking.

Have you ever been attacked? Were you shaken up? Were you even more petrified of leaving your house, for fear that your attacker ( Read more... )

I've tried taking off my mascara 3 times now. It's like plastic glued to my lashes. Gross. I know it's supposed to last a long time, but I want it off. Now.

For once, today I was on time for everything. Yet, I still felt like I was running behind, trying to catch up. I've been terrorized in my sleep for the last week. Now, it feels like these dreams ( Read more... )

Last time I wrote, I was in agony. Now, I think I'm in heaven on earth. I tried to think back to the last time I ever felt this great. I think I pin pointed it to 2004 - When I found out I got into U of T for music. Finally, I was going to study ONLY music - Something I wanted to make my lifelong career. I'm starting to do that, showing me that ( Read more... )

While in orchestra rehearsal tonight, I had a startling realization - The less you obsess and think about something, the more sense you can make of it. I also made another realization, after thinking about the situation rationally (because I hadn't thought about it at all for almost two days) - HOLY CRAP I CAN BE A PSYCHOTIC BITCH. Honestly, how ( Read more... )

13 weeks and nothing to talk about? Ha, yeah right. I've just been too busy to write. However, now that I have another 2 weeks of summer left, I plan on writing, having some great times with friends, and getting ready for school - Again. You know, they say "third time's the charm". Maybe I'll pass this year? (Who's 'they', anyway?)

So someone please ( Read more... )

I'm sure it happens to everyone once in awhile - You see, smell, hear something that reminds you of someone. You start to miss them, when really you know you shouldn't. Oh dear.

I smelled the cool air from outside as I came into my bedroom this evening, and it's May, and I'm in summer school... All the factors just reminded me of 2 years ago at this ( Read more... )